Friday, May 16, 2008

some of this and some of that.

i am not going to get to walmart or to the bank today. time is against me. my child is against me. heck even my husband is against me b/c he came home from work at lunch today -b/c he has drill this weekend and is leaving town this afternoon- and is in there taking a nap! are you kidding me!
teege is in his crib. awake. playing. b/c he's tired and doesn't want to go to sleep.
i was up at 6 30 this morning. i think i have done 100 loads of laundry today. and i have benadryl head b/c i can't stop sneezing. no, not even after i took the benadryl. and i want to take a nap. and i can't. b/c "someone" else won't let me.
TJ has a long weekend ahead of him. he deserves a nap. but i really think that if he deserves a nap - then i definately deserve one - or ten.

my weekly pondering this week has been baby formula.

can you really buy store brand?

i used to not buy generic anything.
i thought it was fake.
i thought it was the devil.
til i realized i lived off of generic tylenol and advil. and milk.
then the trend started for me.
now i buy alot of storebrand whatevers! (canned soup and veggies are an acception b/c i truely think they do taste fake if they aren't store brand. which is wierd b/c i buy store brand frozen veggies all the time....go figure.)

so i'm at walmart the other day pricing enfamil formula(did i tell ya'll teege is weened?) it's cheaper at walmart than HEB by like 30 cents or something.
regardless it is ATLEAST 25$ a can and some change.
and that last a week. most of the time it makes it that far......hopefully.
i start compairing different brands with what they offer.
Teege is on a milk based product with DHA/ARA/iron/the closest formula to breast milk we can get without canning the damn stuff.
i start looking for a similar "recepie" in a different brand, just to compare price.
i find Parents choice brand milk based formula.
Right on the can it says "COMPARE TO ENFAMIL LIPIL"
i look at the price tag.
$11.88 per can
holy shit!
what the crap!
i call mom(only because i ask her about EVERYTHING kid related!)
"it's the same thing in a different can for half the price!"
i shriek in the phone!
i googled the brand when i got home to compare ingredients and see how it rated with all the formula regulations. does it meet all the standards? how similar is it really to what he's already on?
yes it meets all the standards. they wouln't sell it if it didn't.
the ingredients match to a T - though some of the nutrients varied - but only slightly. so slightly that i'm sure what is missing will be made up in his fruits and veggies.
i called teege's dr.
they said go for it.
they only push the name brands b/c there's more testing done on them. and they exceed the standard requirements.
so i hope it agrees with him. it should b/c it's the same stuff pretty much. just a different brand.
i'm excited about this!
it's so obvious that i was paying for a name when i was buying enfamil. i hate knowing that! i never thought much about it before now. it's the same friggin' formula in a different colored can.
jeez! i'm glad i figured it out now rather than after he's off the stuff all together.

something new i discovered:
vinegar and baking soda work great on grease!
i had nothing better to do yesterday so i decided to tackle the task of cleaning me ventahood over my stove.
(like i said. i had nothing better to do)
i mixed up a liquidy paste and tadah! i hardly even had to scrub! it cut right thru the mess!
i hadn't cleaned that thing since we moved in 4 years ago. who knows when it was cleaned last.
and not it sparkles!
all thanks to vinegar and baking soda.
i will remember them forever. they are my new friends!

i made some poor mans filet mignon for dinner a few nights ago.
i forget about this recepie and mom always reminds me of it when i am in a crunch for dinner b/c it is quick.
you take a lb. of ground meat.
seperate it out in to 4 or 5 balls. wrap bacon around them.pat them down just a bit so they're more squatty than round.
dump soy or worchestershire sauce on it. let it sit and soak for a bit(i like to let it sit an hour or more that way it gets good and tasty!
and broil it.
i made homemade mac and cheese and broccoli to go with it.

it was delicious!

i'm watching the neighbors pets this weekend. they are good animals. the dog is really the only bad one. and she's not bad. she just doesn't like to be put to bed so she ignores you at bed time. otherwise she is always happy to see you!

i have no idea what we're going to do tonight after TJ leaves.
i have quite a bit on the dvr that still needs to be watched.
and more laundry to fold.

it's going to be a quiet weekend.

Thursday, May 15, 2008

it was a mess of a night!

i am cooking dinner, half way listening to the 5 oclock news in the background.
the evening weather report comes on and i take a minute away from the homemade mac and cheese i was stirring to pay attention.
a tornado warning is up for a county several hours away from us. looks like we're in for a rough night i think to myself. i notice on the radar that the storm is of course moving west, which means it will pass thru another county, and then into the county where my parents, sister, and in laws all live.
and then of course to us.

i call my mom."mason's under a tornado warning" she murmers an agreement and says "i'm sure it won't be long before we are too."
"Yeah i know. i just wanted to make sure you were keeping your eye on the weather. i knew it was supposed to storm sometime, i was just hoping for a nice soaking rain."

we hang up and i continue with dinner.
we eat.
i clean up the dishes. TJ starts his school work. i put teege in the tub. our evening is going on as normal.

as i'm preprairing the bedtime bottle the weather man breaks in to whatever TJ is watching on tv and broadcasts about a tornado in the vacinity of his dad's ranch.

he picks up the phone to call his grama.

she lives in a mobil home.

no answer.

"call her cell. she always has it on her."

we got hold of her. she was up in the rock house. on their farm there is the mobil home, the rent house which is an old farm house, and the rock house. the sturdiest building on the whole place.
grama is up there with her daughter in law and one of the boys.

they said it was hailing like crazy. no rain. just crazy hail and wind.

i called dad when he got off the phone.

"are ya'll in the closet?"
"ya'll are under a tornado warning.did you get in the closet yet?"

"no.we are?i guess i better check the weather...."
dad always watched the weather. either he was pulling my chain or he truely had no idea what was going on. "let me go out here and see what i can see. it's not even raining. oh, the nieghbors are all congergated out here in the street. i guess i better see what's going on."
i hear him discussing the weather with some of the other neighbors and then "wwhhhhoooo that was close. time to go inside."
it was a strike of lightening and a clap of thunder all at the same time.
he went inside and looked at the tv, which was on the whole time i was talking to him so he had to know to some extent what was about to happen.
we ended our conversation with something like "i just wanted to make sure ya'll had your eye on the storm."
he replied with "ya'll be safe." and then " do you know what closet to get in if you need a place to go?"
i went over the drill with him of "what to do in bad weather in your house". just like he taught me. just like he did with us when we were kids. shutting off all the doors to the hall way and hunkering down in the dark til things calmed down.(i had forgotten all about this until big sis(shades) posted it on her blog). the only thing is that i could never pretend to be scared b/c i was already always too scared!

i told my dad i loved him and i call later.

TJ is watching the news intently now as i hang up the phone. i am clinging to baby teege like he was some kind of life line. not willing to put him to bed but knowing full well that we still had an hour before anything major happened.

" i need to call jackie"
he looks at me like i'm crazy."are they going to spend the night??!!!"

"no. i'm sure they'll just stay til dan gets home. he's at work. besides,they don't have a safe place babe. every room in their house is either full of windows or on an outside wall. she'll call all freaked out if i don't call now."

i called. told her to gather some things and come on before it started raining.
she was already nervouse.
she packed them a back pack of things that might help keep her 8 year old calm and entertained until it was truely time to be afraid.

not that i wasn't already shaking in my boots.

while i am on the phone with her TJ goes out to the garage. he comes back with his cavalar and vest. no doubt to stash in the closet, that way we'd have something on our heads if the roof blows off.
after i managed to lay teege in his crib and close his door i follow TJ's e xample,gathering up bottles and water and formula, extra diapers and wipes. TJ found this humorus. "i don't think we need to worry that much."
"i'd rather have it and not need it" was all's i managed to retort. if he tought we might need his cavalar then i wanted to make sure we had suppies in case - you know - we got trapped or something.

the neighbors are here now. TJ heads outside as the phone rings.
it's my mom. calling to tell me that despite how scary the weather man makes this storm sound it's really not that bad. it rains really hard and the wind blows really bad and it hails like mad and then it's over. however the part of the storm that is most likely to produce a tornado, that already gad rotating cloud activity in it was the part that was headed straight for us.

TJ calls me outside to standout on the poarch and look at the sky. he's talking about how he doens't like it that the wind is blowing in to us from behind, and the clouds are moving towards us form in front. he wants me to looke at the lightening with him.
the wind is crazy blowing in all directions!
i tugg on his arm."can we please go inside?"

my neighbor is standing on the poarch with us laughing. "what is it with men and having to stand outside in the middle of a storm like this? my husband would be donig the same thing if he were home!"

TJ says "i'll go in when it starts to rain"

so i retreat to the comfort of my living room and sneak a peak at my neighbors kid playing his gameboy on my couch. "are you in need of an adult beverage to calm the nerves?"
she nods eagerly at me and we ransack the fridge and find a bottle of pinot grigio(or however you spell it) and some beer.

we each take a beer and try and settle in to a game of Mad Gab to pass the time.
it didn't work. we couldn't concentrate.
the wind is really picking up.

teege stirs in his crib but stays asleep. part of me was hoping he'd just wake up.

the wind blows so hard the windows sound like they are popping. TJ is standing just inside the front door watching the rain pour from the sky. i see the patio chair go flying all the way to the other end of the poarch. ( i didn't think to move that.)

"close the door" i beg.

TJ closes the door and turns the deadbolt only to unlock and throw the door back open to look at the hail.
he opens the screen to pluck a piece of ice from the patio."got any hail?!" he smiles at me.
it's about the size of a nickel and several times a thick.
TJ continues to flit from front door to back door peaking out the windows, opening and closing the doors against the rain. he is making me crazy!

i am stationed between the living room and the door way to teege's room. not managing to oonch more than a few feet from his door at a time. just in case we have to make a run for it.
i eventually moved him in to the bassinet in our room for some made me feel better having him in there rather than his own room.
we stood around the living room watching the weather. there wasn't even a regular evening program showing. it wasn't even regular news time. the weather men were just on our tv, continuously. this continued for a while. it seemd that my neighbors little boy was the only one who was calm enough to sit and play. us adults stood around like idiots, watiting.

this continued for a while.

the weather men had been tracking this storm for a few hours before it got to us. and as this storm ended, all of us intact, not so much as a broken tree branch on our lawn anywhere, and no we never had to set foot in the closet, there were 2 more waves of storms after that one.

the neighbors left after the first wave of storms and the next one came within the next hour.

we fell asleep sometime in the mids of storm #2.i never heard anything from storm #3 which was bigger than the 2nd but not as bad as the first. and we woke up this morning, all in tact. a few blinking clocks thru out the house the only evedience that it had stormed at all.

"lullabye for a stormy night" by vienna teng

Little child, be not afraid.
The rain pounds harsh against the glass like an unwanted stranger;
there is no danger;
I am here tonight.

Little child, be not afraid.
The thunder explodes and lightning flash illuminates a tear-stained face;
I am here tonight.

And someday you’ll know that nature is so;
the same rain that draws you near me,
falls on rivers and land,
on forests and sand;
makes the beautiful world that you’ll see in the morning.

Little child, be not afraid,
though storm clouds mask your beloved moon,
and its candlelight beams still keep pleasant dreams;
I am here tonight.

Little child, be not afraid,
though wind makes creatures of our trees,and their branches to hands;
they’re not real, understand,
and I am here tonight.

And someday you’ll know that nature is so;
the same rain that draws you near me,falls on rivers and land, on forests and sand;
makes the beautiful world that you’ll see in the morning.

For you know, once even I was a little child,
and I was afraid,
but a gentle someone always cameto dry all my tears,
trade sweet sleep for fears,and to give a kiss goodnight.

Well now I am grown,
and these years have shown that rain’s a part of how life goes.
But it’s dark and it’s late,so I’ll hold you and wait,
‘til your frightened eyes do close.

And I hope that you’ll know that nature is so;
the same rain that draws you near me,falls on rivers and land,
on forests and sand;
makes the beautiful world that you’ll see in the morning…
everything’s fine in the morning..

the rain’ll be gone in the morning..

but I’ll still be here in the morning.

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

a slow day

i can't believe i'm going to say this.

today i am actually bored.

TJ should be home from work any minute now.

there is chicken marinating in the fridge for dinner.

i have vacuumed.
swept and moped the kitchen.
dusted some base boards.
balanced the check book.
cooked some beans for a soup i ended up not making b/c i discovered i had no tomato sauce.
talked on the phone (ALOT)
ground up some uncooked brown rice into powder to make baby cereal with.(it's cheaper to do it yourself than buy baby ceral)
washed some dishes.
folded some laundry.
caught sipits of the soaps here and there.
washed out a milk crate thingy to put toys in b/c we don't have anything to make a good toy box out of. it's not very nice so i draped a fitted sheet around it to disguise it and filled it up with the toys he uses most that i leave stashed around the house b/c i would hate tracking back and forth from his room for each one. now they are centrally located.

i got all of that done by 3 pm.

and i've been bored ever since.

teege woke up from a nap at 3 and we went and played outside. apon which i though he decided he was hungry in the middle of our play time. i fixed him a bottle. he ate 2 oz of it. and the procedded to pitch a fit.
i went and laid him down.
i hear him sing out every now and then. he is just in there, in the dark, looking around. what the heck is up with that??

he's been napping rather well lately.
i think i've figured out the right combo of wake time/activities that he's tired enough when he lays down that he sleeps for 2 hours, rather than either so over tired or over stimulated (or both) that he only sleeps for 45 mintues. YAY ME! i get good chunks of time to myself now!
and he's weened to.
it was so much easier than i expected b/c he was already used to getting a bottle. it was just a matter of days before he chose the bottle over my boobs. i was saddned at first. but that lasted all of 2 days before i was FREE!!!! and i felt good about it!

i guess i could go find something else to do. if i clean the bathroom today then i don't have to do ANYTHING tomorrow and i can eat popcorn and watch all the movies in my DVR that have been patiently waiting for me to have time to view them.

that's not such a bad idea.........

Friday, May 9, 2008

the little things

if you ever wonder for even a second if the person you married really loves you, take the time to think, whole heartedly and openly, about the little things they do for you.

my husband is leaving for the summer in a couple of weeks. he is looking for me a can of pepper spray - mostly for me to take on my walks b/c there is a very unruly red doberman that lives down the street and i can't go and check my mail b/c his fence backs up to the cluster boxes. he tries to jump the fence every time anyone goes by. and he's managed to knock several holes in his fence big enough to get his head thru. it's wonder he's even still back there. the only thing keeping him from getting thru the fence is his shoulders. all's he'd have to do is knock out another board and he's on the loose. i don't walk down to that end of the street all.
and i can't go 8 weeks without checking the mail so TJ is buying me pepper spray to ward of the big bully dogs in this world.

we have been having issues - in the bedroom - sorry to bring this up. i won't give details.
we had a big discussion about these "issues"(or should i call them non existent issues?)
well he actually took the time to think about some things i said(again i will spare you the details) and when he came home from work he actually planted a big fat wet kiss - right on my lips!
he doesn't kiss like this just becuase. he is a pecker on the checker. a quick smack on the lips. i haven't gotten a kiss like this - for no good reason other than simply b/c he wanted to give me a "real" kiss - probably since our wedding day. that's 5 years ago. now i am sure i've gotten several kisses packed with passion, when he was actually taking the time to be passionate, before we had these issues over these non existent activities. and suddenly he is kissing me like there is no tomorrow simply for the sake of doing so.
he confessed that when he was mulling over our conversation that he suddenly realized that he couldn't remember the last time when he had "really kissed his wife".
needless to say i was extatic that he had realized that he pays me plenty of attention and gives lots of comments in the emotional "i love you and i am glad you are my wife" department. but he hasn't seemed to realize that i've been warning him all this time now - we're talking since i got pregnant a year and half ago -if there is no action takin' to keep our love life from drying up completely we are in serious trouble.
he is kissing me like i really matter. not that it leads to anything else. but it's enough for me to know that despite what he has said about my weight gain and post pregnancy body he still finds me somewhat desireable(of course it took me telling him that it was making me crazy to know that he "didn't want me and there was nothing i can do about it" to get any sort of reaction out of him.)
we are proud owners of 2 copies of "the 5 love languages". basically it teaches you that every person has their own love language, a primary and secondary. and once you figure out which one your spouse speaks you can communate your love to them by speaking their language. my languages are (1) physical touch(this is so difficult for me considering our situation. and he knows that's my primary so why wouldn't he communicate to me?) and the second is acts of service.
his are 1) acts of service (which is easy seeing as how i am the wife and i do pretty much everyhing around here involved in taking care of his every need. and his 2nd would be word of affirmation. i have tried to get him to participate in making it a point to communicate in our love languages, rather than in just doing for eachother what we think makes us feel loved. but it is an adjustment. we have attendancy to do for the eachother what makes ourselves feel loved. and that can make the receiving person feel jipped. did you follow me??

but we've made some progress.

oh, and he came home from walmart the other day with a present for me too. he bought me that movies"27 dresses." it is super CUTE!!!! i loved it!! of course i love "how to loose a guy in 10 days" also, and this one seemed to follow the same plot some.....but it was still super sweet!

so you see, just b/c our spouses don't do what we wish they would do for us so that we feel wanted and cherished, they do show us that we are wanted and cherished in their own way.

i am going to mow the lawn now b/c teege is napping and i know that my husband will feel loved and like i see how hard he works when he comes home to find that i did something like mow the lawn for him.

see? acts of service. he will notice something like this and feel far more loved and appreciated than if the house was spotless by the time he got home. i'm always cleaning the inside. i thought i'd take on a chore of his for a change.

Friday, May 2, 2008

just a bit of silliness

baby teege airing out his bottome today to combat the tiny bit of diaper rash he has. i don't do this often, i am afraid it will teach him not to like his clothes! though he enjoys his skin very much....

oh, he's 6 months old today by the way.

a follow up to my post from yesterday:
today has been much better for us.i wonder if teege is having a growth spurt on top of the change to formula, the diaper rash(though it is minimal i am sure it is bothersome) and his poor teeth trying to make their way out of his gums!
i didn't even hesitate this morning. when he woke up i brought on the tylenol! then i fed him.
at nap time i brought out the orajel! it took me 2 hours to actually get him down for his nap! he cried and cried and screamed at me to no end! (no matter if i was rocking him or leaving him in his crib b/c i needed to catch a little break)at some point i brought out the gas drops(mylecon) i havene't had to use these yet but the nurse at the dr's yesterday said i could use them b/c chances are his formula would make him gassy and therefore fussy.)
he finally went to sleep. and then made up for lost time awake by sleeping for 2 hours and 15 minutes. he doesn't do this. i was shocked! and thrilled! i got 2 hrs and 15 minutes all to myslef today! usually i get between 45 minutes and 1 hour! (stretched out over 2-3 time a day)
of course when i called mom at the 2 hour mark to have someone to rejoyce with he woke up. (why not?) he knew i was talking about him i guess and didn't want me to get too used to the idea that he can nap for the averag naptime.
speaking of the pediatrician's nurse, this brings up something else:
i called yesterday about his teeth. the nurse wanted to talk to me about why i was breastfeeding and doing formula together.
she said i had confused my baby, and he was having upset tummy b/c of the combination of formula and breast milk. she told me that i needed to pick one or the other and stick with it.
how else does a woman ween her baby? i can't give him water for crying out loud! he's 6 months old. he has to have the formula.and i am not weening him cold turkey.
i know several women who nurse their babies morning and night and send them to day care with formula! women supplement with formula for their newborns while they wait for their milksupply to build up. it's done all the time. a lot of women don't want to nurse their babies around the clock.
if i could use cow's milk i would- it's still cheaper than formula. but he's too young for that still.
i don't think the nurse realized that he is not confused b/c he was already used to getting breastmilk in a bottle. it's not the friggin bottle that's upset him. it's not the lack of boob, he was getting 1-2 bottles a day from my freezer stash before i decided to start the formula.
and i don't think the formula is really upsetting his tummy b/c he's on solids. he's taking all sorts of stuff into his tummy, and frankly the only thing we had issues with was sweet potatoes. and that passed quickly.
if his tummy is upset at all i believe it is just adjusting. like it has had to adjust to every other new food i have introduced.
so there. take that you silly nurse.
now i must go and do somethin with the last little bit of Teege's 2nd nap. i can't afford to waste them. TJ will be home for a 3 day weekend, and we all know i get nothing done when my husband is home.

Thursday, May 1, 2008

teething, formula, and more

i might be bald the next time you see me.

i am seriously at risk of pulling all my hair out!

i don't know what is wrong with my baby!
he cries, and he screams! and he bitches! that's all i can think of to describe what he sounds like.
he just kind of squals - or screeches?- at me.
i called his dr today. i tell the girl taking the message "i need some serious teething help"(i don't think she thought that was cute.)
also i wonder if the transition to formula from nursing is going badly.
could it be upsetting his tummy? could he be confused? i'm doing both. i've only replaced 2 of his feedings with bottles.
today he didn't even want his lunch! i hear with teething they loose their appetite. it makes their gums hurt worse to suck.
i tried the teething freezer rings. that helped some.
tylenol. it helped - but barely.
an ice cube in a wash cloth.(he screamed at me for that!)
a cold carrot - the fat end. didn't want that either.

he seems to be happiest when i hold him and walk in circles around my coffee table.(i have done alot of that today.) but i guess it is a good way to get some extra exercise in.

he doesn't want to rock.he screams at me when i try and sit down. he is not able to be toy can seem to get his mind off of what is upsetting him. he doens't want to play or lay in his crib and listen to his mobil.

he is finally asleep after some swinging out on the poarch swing, upon which my neighbor with the 4 kids came out and i carried him over to her and with tears in my eyes i asked her "do you have any orajel?"
she did. i gave him some.he passed out not even 2 seconds after i put it on his gums.
then i heard from my mom who heard from a neighbor that if they swallow the orajel it can make their throat go numb and they can quit breathing. so now i'm back to where i was in the beginning when he was "little little" and having breathing problems. peaking at him every 10 seconds to make sure he is sitll alive.

i am at my witts end. not b/c he is being loud and grumpy and unmanageable. but b/c of all of my mothering instincts that i have, i have absolutely no idea how to help him.
but i am trying.

i am not frustrated with him in the least. which means i have learned quite a bit about patience since his new born days. i just wish that i had a magic wand to wave away his owies and booboos and aches and pains.

a girlfriend of mine is coming in 2 weeks to do portrates for us. teege's 6 months pictures!
we never have gone and gotten them done professionally. i don't want to take him to walmart - i don't want his first professional pictures to looks like simple old ordinary studio pictures. i want them to look professional in a candid kind of way. i want his pictures to reflect him, not what someone wants him to do - or be. so i was instructed to browse the internet- look at websights of professional studios like sears and jc penny so that i can get an idea of what i want and she has something to work with. she is coming to my house to do it. hopefully he is feeling better by then. if not i guess we will just have to keep trying.

i could use a heavy does of chocolate! but have none.
a coca-cola would be so cool and refreshing. i have none of that either.

but the house is quiet for now. i suppose i will make the best of that by putting on some makeup. that always does wonders for me when i feel desperate. looking good seems to give me a new found power to get thru whatever it is i am dealing with.