Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Monday, December 29, 2008
we need to get all the christmas decorations down and put in the attic. if i weren't pregnant i'd manage it myself. but it's just not safe to carry boxes up and down a ladder right now!
the crib needs to be put together.
we bought a crib last night. and the mattress. it cost us a whopping 508.00! ouch! the crib was 330.00 and the mattress was like 140.00. the cheaper cribs all had the drop down side-which is not very safe. and they didn't come in black. the sales woman nearly threw a fit at us when she discovered that not only did they not have any of our first choice in stock, but the other 3 we liked were also the most popular on the floor. but they had one left of my second choice. the last 2 choices were espresso finish -which was very pretty- and that was close enough to black i wouldn't have really cared if i had had to pick one of those.they were cheaper too.
but i'm glad they had the black one. it made me happy.
if we don't get it put together now well, i won't have a room for the new baby when she arrives. TJ's not due home til april 28th. i'm due may 7th, and i doubt this baby cooks for her entire time either, just like teege didn't. and i refuse to be trying to ready a room for the baby after she is here. it would be too much!
we need to put the safety clips on teege's dresser. his room is completely child proof (so that he can play in there without having to hear the word no a single time!) aside from the dresser drawers. the drawers slid out at the slightest pull and they slide closed very easily and he'll either sit there and empty the whole dresser or slam his fingers in the drawers. right now they are tied shut with bungee cords. it's working. but none of his clothes get put away b /c it's a pain to undo the cords. if i didn't have to wield a screw driver or a drill i'd do it myself. but why should i when my husband can? i just have to remind him -again!
we also need to move the computer out of the room we're using for the nursery and set it up in our bedroom. another task i won't be able to manage b/c i don't know the first think about setting up an entire computer system! let alone all the extra fancy gadgets TJ has plugged in.
it's not that much really. til you see how much crap we have!
and teege is so worn out from christmas he's doing all kinds of things he's not supposed to and throwing these tantrums! he's never thrown a fit before! this is day 3 of him throwing these horrible fits when i take something away or put him down for a nap or even lay him down to change his diaper.oh and this morning, he dipped the tv remote in the cat's water bowl. i just couldn't' get there fast enough! we have one of those fancy expensive logitech universal digital remotes. the ones that plug in to your computer and you can program it to do all kinds of crazy stuff besides work all of your tv components like turn the lights off/on or open/close the garage. yeah. it doesn't work now.he dipped the usb end in the water. i guess i could turn all the components off at the system. but then we'd have to reprogram the whole remote. which we may have to do anyway.
teege is just being so rotten and i don't know if i'll ever get thru it! where did my sweet little boy go? he's just exhausted and i feel so bad for him. but every day there's been somewhere else we need to go or something we needed to do and i'm so tired i just feel sick!
anyway, i guess i'll go and try and do something constructive. like feed the dogs and undecorate the christmas tree. i could atleast get something on the list started. while TJ is off running around with his old buddies from work.
he left at 6 30 this morning to run 5 miles with his old boss. then he went to his old office to see someone else. it's 11 am now. and he's still not back.
i sure hope he feels like he didn't get to see much of us when he leaves.
did you know he wants me drive 6 hrs up to OK to stay with him for 2 weeks next month?
yeah. a 6 hr trip. with a one year old screaming in the back seat the whole way. it would take me the better part of 8 hrs i'm sure b/c i'd have to stop and feed him at least twice, and he's gunna get tired of his car seat, and don't get me started on how many trips i have to make to the bathroom lately! natalie sits very low and squishes my bladder and i'm running to the bathroom like every 30 minutes!
i really don't want to do it. he said he might be able to get special permission to come and get us, and to bring us back. but only if those weekends are times when there's no extensive training or testing the following monday. so i guess he doesn't want us to come up that bad. i just don't see how it would work. not easily anyway. and i'm sorry. as much as i love him i just don't think that he should expect that much out of me right now. if teege was a little older i'd do it in a heartbeat.
anyway, teege is supposed to be napping and he's in there still throwing a fit so i guess i better go tend to that mess.
hope you all had a merry christmas. our was terribly busy like always. next year is going to be different. i want to spend christmas at home with me kids. not rushing from my father in laws to my gramas to my moms all in one day. it was too much. TJ will be deployed and i'll have 2 kiddo's to lug around and keep happy. it was hard enough this year with TJ there to help with teege.
i'll have to do something like visit on days leading up to christmas or something like that. or not go to see my grama who has no business having christmas at her house christmas morning anymore anyway.
it was a huge mess! and i didn't get to enjoy it at all. by the end of the day i just wanted to cry b/c christmas was over and i was grumpy and hadn't had a bit of fun.
Friday, December 26, 2008
the kind that stand up -not blow up - and light up. he was made up of a wire frame, and drizzled on the outside was this hard clear plastic stuff. it was supposed to make him look like he was icy. up close it just looked like dried hot glue.he had a black top hat and a scarf and everything!
over the years he has gotten brittle from spending the summers in the attic.the icy parts of him would break off -the thinner pieces anyway-at the slightest touch.
this morning i went outside on the porch to see what kind of day it was -and found frosty dead!
he had been bashed in, broke in half! by some strangers foot. the worst part : frosty's magic top hat had been taken off and been thrown to the side. it was just so sad. like in the movie. how he'd only come alive if he was wearing the hat.
SOME ONE vandalized my christmas decorations!
we also have a 5 foot fabric snow man that has a stand. he also lights up. and he had been broke off at the base and was laying helpless on the grass. this one tj thinks he can fix. thank GOD! b/c i know home depot has no more and i had already taken one of the new frosty's back b/c it had broken off his stand in the wind! the base just needs to be sautered back to the pole and we can put it back out in the yard.
not that i really want to anymore.
i just can't believe it. it's kind of a scary thing really : to think that while i was sleeping snug in my bed someone was out there kicking the life out of my christmas decorations.
scrooge must live around here somewhere.
Monday, December 22, 2008
this is what i had picked out year before last, when we didn't know yet if teege was a boy or girl.
sorry you have to follow the link, i coudlnt' ifgure out how to upload the pictures without having copyright issues.(or something)
we also have a really big ,old, black dresser we're going to use.it's wide enough to double as a changing table, and tall enough too. and this crib set would look GREAT with a black crib! so i may do that. other wise i might just try and paint our black dresser some other color -probably not red b/c there's alot of red in the bedding, but maybe a green color. or cream. if we could find a cream thick enough to cover the black.without having to stain or strip the old paint. we were going to refinish it. then i remembered it would me that would have to do it. and decided not to.
hope the link works so you can see my selection!
otherwise go to lambsivy.com, click on bedding, and look for "secret garden" (it's the 1st set in the 7th row).
he spent the better part of saturday trying to figure out how to fix the dryer. (which was fixed and then burned up again,and won't even turn on now, all in the same day)
he hoed and hummed all day saturday. seeming to be in a state of complete ignorance or something. i asked a few times "What are you're plans today?" and got a meesley "i'm not sure" response. his brother even left a message wanting to know if he was going to the ceremony.
once he even complained about having to leave no later than 3, and not getting back an earlier than 9. and that's only if he didn't stop for dinner. and left the ceremony right when it ended.
so i spent the day not knowing if i was going to be happy or sad.
we ate a late lunch that day. he jumps up from the table at 2pm and says "i better get in the shower and get ready to go"
i shoudln't have been surprised i know. it was the fact that he put off and put off giving me a straight answer that made me feel that much more irritated with him. he made it look like he might possibly be staying home. and then he gets up and goes.
before he left he came over to me -where i was already happily watching christmas movies and winding garland around my christmas tree.( i let him take me friday to get a tree -mostly b/c it would help me out a ton if i already atleast had the tree. we got an artificial one. on sale. for 55$. pre lit with white lights. it was perfect! and it was the last one!)
anyway, he started snuggling me and giving me lots of kisses. i kissed him back. twice. before i pushed on him a little and said "you just quit trying to be all sweet and cuddly and take yourself on out the door."
his reply was a pouty " but i'm a sweet and cuddly kind of guy"
"so? you're just doing it to try and keep yourself out of trouble>"
he kind of laughs to himself and says "no. i'm pretty sure i'm in trouble anyway."
so he goes. he came back once and i was foolish enough to think he'd changed his mind. he had just forgotten to pick up his phone.
he called at 7 45 to say he was on his way. which would have put him in the front door by 10 or a little before.
at 9 i went and got in bed.
at 9 50 i called to see where he was.
he said he was still an hr away b/c he had stopped in a small town (johnson city), who has a major christmas lights display, to grab some dinner.
here's the thing.
he stopped at Dairy Queen! it's one of the only places in that town to eat.but it's fast food. and he said they were really busy!! b/c everyone from counties away had come to see the lights. and it took a really long time to get his food.
the things that don't make sense:
he was a whole nother hr getting home
i doubt it took him an hr to get his food at a fast food place
and when i called him to find out how far away he was he turned off is turn by turn directions.
he has onstar in the truck and he can get directions sent to his radio and it chimes in every so often with turn here's and take this road. (part of me wonders if he turned it off so i wouldn't really know where he was. and part of me thinks he went to dinner with his family anyway and just didn't want to say that's why he was late.)
but my husband is not a story teller either. or a liar. or a stretch the truth kind of guy.
when he mentioned going to dinner with is family and how late he would be getting home if he did i told him it didn't matter b/c he was already gone.
when he was on his way back i asked him if anyone gave him hard time for running off on his wife and kid the first day he was home.
i got a very snotty "NO! everyone was actually really glad i made it!"
"well then i'm so glad for you that you were able to please everyone else today but me."
after a long silence on his end i told him i was going to bed and would see him the morning.
that was all that was said on the matter.
aside from acting awake enough to ask him to turn off the christmas tree when he came in i pretended to be sleeping.
and my christmas tree is gorgeous! it looks like a page out of a catalog!
i put silver and red glass balls on it and some glass snow man icicle ornaments my mom gave me.there's also a few personal ornaments on it -wooden ones that we've collected over the years.
and the garland i put on is silver and gold wooden beads.
it sparkles like diamonds and rubies!
my tree would not have been so pretty if i had had help. and i'm kind of glad i actually got to create a christmas tree this year rather than cram every single one of the million christmas ornaments we have on it.
i'm proud of it.
it didn't make him feel as lousy for missing out as i had hoped.
but it is the one perfect thing that came out of that messy day.
had all the major pictures and measurements taken to rule out any complications.
heart as all 4 chambers.
brain is normal. no excess fluid. no missing pieces.
all the obvious signs of downs syndrom were ruled out. skin thickness at the base of the neck was normal. baby was holding up all 5 fingers at one point - dr was very happy about that. baby has a nasal bone -most babies with downs don't. spine is normal.
everything was very normal.
new baby is healthy.......................
and very wiggly..............................
i forgot to mention..........................
IT"S A GIRL!
what? when did this happen?
I am still recovering from the shock.
i was positive i was having another boy. everything, aside from the more noticeable morning sickness a while back, pointed to us having a boy. i would have put money on it. i would have bet my right hand on it -or an eye even.
and i'm having a girl.
the dr checked 3 times, b/c he wasn't even 100% sure at first. by the last peek, he was positive. no doubt about it.
it's not that i'm not excited. i am. but i had enough boy stuff to open a store! all's i would have had to buy was a nother crib. now i have to get all new everything girl! getting ready for the first baby was a very daunting task! i was hoping i wouldn't have so much preparing to do this time. i guess the good thing is that i atleast still remember what to expect with a new born now. the rest of the stuff is just stuff. we'll get it. and i'll find a place for it eventually.
oh, and the mere idea of raising a teenage daughter......makes me want to gouge my eyeballs out.
but we'll manage. it's not like millions of mothers before me didn't face the same trials.
atleast now i can tell TJ i know what i want for christmas. the little girl crib bedding i picked out before we knew last time if teege was a boy or not.(hopefully they still have it)
oh, and the name:
we're still stuck on either natalie joy or elizabeth joy. though i do like emily joy also.
we do both like natalie the best. that's probably going to win! now if i can just get TJ to say something else about the names other than "i like it............i like that one too........i like this better than that".......... etc.
Thursday, December 18, 2008
- unloaded the dishwasher.
- reloaded it
- made the peanut brittle
- unloaded the dishwasher at the end of the day
- loaded it again(and ran it, again)
- got the bathroom cleaned
- managed to get the house vacuumed in spurts
- balanced the checkbook
laundry is a touchy subject in my house at the moment. i did some laundry yesterday. the first load dried without a hitch. when that was done i went to dry the 2nd load only to discover i had forgotten to clean the lint screen -in a very long time. it had been so long in fact that when i pulled the screen out i thought "wierd. the vent is clean!" moments later i opened the back door to let the dogs in, only to discover that the gobs of lint that had collected on the lint screen had made their way thru the piping (or whatever you call that long accordion thing that comes out the back of the dryer) and had been puffed all over the back yard. and it was misty so of course the lint got all soggy. the dryer doesn't blow hot air now. just cold. whether that is due to my poor maintenance or not i'm not sure. Tj and dad both think the heating element is out which would make sense b/c the dryer is going on 8 yrs old anyway. (i bet i know what i'm getting for christmas if TJ doesn't want to fix it)
back to the vacuuming issues in my house: TJ did a GREAT job today tolerating the noise so long as i WARNED him before i turned it on. this worked miracles. i don't know why i didn't think of it before. I'd just holler out "TJ i'm turning on the vacuum! here i go! weeeeeee!" and off we'd go.if i turned it on without saying anything he would get upset and cry and crawl away to hide. hopefully this will continue to work. otherwise i will let him just get over it on his own and do it anyway (as my dear good neighbor friend, and auntie shades, both suggested today)
tomorrow i have to make a mad dash to my parents house to pick up all of my christmas presents. i had most everything i ordered shipped to their place b/c i was staying so long i assumed it would all come while i was there. it didn't. so tomorrow morning we're going to run down and get it. and come right back.it's the quickest 2 hr trip in history!
little TJ is doing much better today. tons less cranky and not so much coughing. though he still sounds like donald duck when he sneezes. i started giving him baby zyrtec just to help dry him out some. it helped alot with the cough but not so much with his nose. my neighbor suggested dropping his nose with saline. i tried that for the first time tonight. i had to lay him on the floor and pin him down under my leg since i don't have 3 hands to hold him with, but i got the drops in. and i could tell quite a difference. i don't usually notice saline working for me. but i think i'm going to remember to use now it every time he has a stuffy nose.
if you don't hear from me anymore til january have a very merry christmas and happy new year!
i need to:
- unload dishwasher
- re load dishwasher to get the tons dirty dishes out of my sink and to clear the space on the counter where they have spilled out on to.(at least they are rinsed already)
- clean master bathroom
- change the sheets on my bed
- make peanut brittle.(b/c i ate what i brought home from mom and dad's and i was supposed to save some for when TJ got home.i'm kind of afraid of this task actually. it's kind of a tricky recepie. but it sure is yummy!)
- i wanted to steam clean the carpets. there are a few stains from the pets where they left us nice presents! and the carpet hasn't been cleaned since it was installed back in the summer and i'd just feel better if it was all fresh.
- but first i have to vacuum the house.
- but before i can do this i have to figure out a way to get teege over being scared of the vacuum.
this is why my house rarely gets vacuumed as of late.i used to hold him and vacuum. but now, since i can't hold him all the time b/c of new baby if no one else is here to entertain while i vacuum he just cries and screams! even if i put him in one room and vacuum another. he is terrified. i've tried doing it when he's down for a nap. if i wait til he's asleep he just wakes up. and if i put him in his crib and do it right when he goes down he just cries. i guess he thinks the vacuum is getting me!
this morning we sat on the floor and turned the switch on and off. he eventually quit crawling away at top speed. and would sit and stare. i thought we were making progress when he started pointing and saying "brrmmmm brmmmm" every time i turned it off. so i took out the house and turned it back on and showed him kind how it worked. scrubbing at the carpet with it and putting my hand over it so he could hear the sucky sound.
my mistake: i stuck it on his foot. and it sucked up part of his jammies.!!! oh he just freaked out!i didn't even think about that happening! poor kid will probably never get over his fear of vacuums now. any suggestions?
oh, and TJ is coming home tomorrow! YAY! i just hope it's not late. the last time he came in he didn't get here til 10 30 at night. i have a hard time staying awake that long. but i didn't want to be all sleepy and gross when he got here either.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
i never got my tea made. besides. i knew he'd call me if i didn't call anyway. i was trying to keep a rational head.
i was stuffing the electric blanket under my comforter before climbing in bed last night when the phone rang.
i answer and am greeted by a cheerful "hey you! how's it goin?"
like he hadn't talked to me 2 hrs ago and new that i was upset.....
"i'm puttin' the blanket on the bed" i mumbled.
"how are you?" (still sounding overly cheerful. his roommates sounded like they were throwing a party! there was tons of yelling in the background. which made me feel that much worse.)
"i'm mad at you but other than that i'm ok."
on the defensive :" why are you made at me? what did i do?"
so i filled him in.told him i didn't think that it was fair, him running off like that and how it didn't really work out well for teege b/c there was too much going on.sure i could stand out side with him the whole time. til it got too chilly. then what?
"but if you want to go you need to know that the rest of us will be staying home. i can find other things to do. me and teege will go get the christmas tree and put it up while you're gone."
"oh babe...." (I HATE WHEN HE DOES THAT!. oh babe, like ' come one you're being ridiculous'
"what?" i throw myself in to bed and start yanking the covers around me. i'm still fairly calm, on the surface anyway.
"i just know how much it would mean to my brother if i make it. i've missed all his big accomplishments b/c i've been gone."
ping - the imaginary pin i had been holding down on my grenade popped up. BOOM!
"that's fine.but you have to remember WHO SITS OVER HERE TAKING CARE OF ALL YOUR CRAP AND WAITING ON YOU TO COME HOME AND YOU CAN'T JUST SAY "HEY I WANT TO GO AND SPEND ALL DAY DOING THIS THE FIRST DAY I'M HOME DO YOU WANNA COME? LIKE THE REST OF US DON'T MATTER!! i'm the one who's been waiting to see you! i'm the one who's delt with more crap and had more going on than any other member of your family and i think we should come first."
i managed to go from calm, to hysterical and screaming, to strangled and crying in less than a minute.
he apologizes a million times while i'm sitting there speechless -shocked at how badly i had reacted and furious with myself for crying! come one! CRYING??
and after all of that he says " well if i don't do it saturday i still have to find some time to go down to work and sign all my paper work. i still have to take time out of one of our days to do that."
at least that wouldn't' take all day....and it's only an hr away. and you could go and come straight back. or we could all go at a convenient time and do a little shopping or something...... on a day when you've been home and we've had a little time to reconnect.
and then i hear "babe, i didn't say i was going, i just said i wanted to go."
he literally had the whole day planned when he mentioned the trip! he didn't ask me what i thought or how i felt about it. he just started from point a and made it all the way to point b like it was a done deal.
he talked some more about "if i go this" and if i decide to go that."
and i finally told him "if you go, i won't be mad. but you need to know that i will feel like you chose someone else over me and our son and that is not ok with me."
his measly response - "ok"
and then before he hangs up he says "please don't feel like i'm choosing him over you. that's not it at all."
how can i not feel like that?
anyway, i'm over it.
i've had my say and he knows that i don't agree. i won't be surprised if he does go. i'll actually be more surprised if he stays home.
Monday, December 15, 2008
i just have to blog about it first.
that way it's mostly off my chest (well, all the ugly stuff i want to say anyway) and i can be nice about telling him NO.
He can't go.
he comes home friday. i doubt he'll be home any earlier than 3 pm -very possibly later.
his brother -the one who has screwed up his life majorly -is having some kind of pinning ceremony (he's a fire fighter and he's been promoted.) the ceremony is 2 hrs away.
it's on SATURDAY! the day after he comes home. at 5 in the evening. he wants to go early so he can go by his armory and fill out all his paper work so we can get his travel pay and family sep. pay. which means probably leaving here at least by lunch time.
no big deal right?
well the ceremony is 2 hrs long. so it won't even be over til 7. and then there's a 2 hr drive home -and don't forget to factor in that everyone is going to want to go out to eat afterwards.
uh, when do i feed my 13month old his dinner? he can't wait til after 7. oh bed time, that's also at 7. not to mention that he's not old enough to know to sit still and hush. he will be all over the place. he's all over the place when we go to the dr. and he screams bloody murder sometimes if you try and stop him from making a beeline somewhere. I can only take so much mister! me and my pregnant hormonal self are not feeling nice about this. he doesn't realieze that Teege is not so little anymore. you can't just take him anywhere and give him a bottle and he'll go to sleep. he's a go doer and wants to be in the mix of everything.
i just want to scream at him!
you're going to run off to celebrate with your bother THE FIRST REAL DAY YOU HAVE TO SPEND AT HOME AFTER BEING GONE FOR WEEKS! while i have been sitting here at home, all alone, anxiously waiting for you to come back! taking care of ALL OF YOUR CRAP! (yea, he has over drawn his bank account more than once since he's been gone. who always takes care of that? I DO!) and you want to go spend time with your family?!?! the part of your family that is now somewhat extended b/c you have a wife and a kid and a baby on the way??
he said tonight that we could "talk about it more later"
talking about it later isn't going to make me any more happy about it i told him. it wouldn't be a big deal if it were a little earlier in the day and it wasn't his first day back home.
am i being selfish? or is he?
"well he came to my officer pinning ceremony in September and i missed his fire academy graduation and it would really mean alot to him if i could make it."
well i kind of feel blown off. what about what would mean alot to me?
we were going to get a christmas tree this weekend! all the good ones are going to be gone! we waited on purpose to get one when he got home so we could do it together. we planned it that way when he was home for thanksgiving b/c there wasn't time to do it then.
AND don't forget his time at home is limited - 2 weeks. and there's christmas to factor in. it's not going to be a leisurely 2 weeks at home as it is. we have to do christmas at his dad's. my parents. his moms. my other gramas. 3 of those are all on christmas day. when are we going to do christmas at our house if christmas is already so jam packed? and don't forget that christmas is not the only time his family is going to want to see him. unless he gets a good pass to come home the next holiday we have after new years(whatever that is. Easter? and that's not a government holiday anyway) he won't be back til the end of APRIL! and you expect me to sit back and happily let you do whatever you want while you're home this time?
choose me for a change damnit. not everyone is cut out to let their husbands leave for months on end to do what they need to do.he's only gotten so far in his career b/c i was able to suck it up long enough to deal with him being gone almost all of the time! we've been married for nearly 6 years.he's been gone off and on for so much of that it averages out to 4 of those years spent away.i deserve a little more respect than just "i want to go over here and spend the whole day doing this the day after i get home.wanna come with me?"
if he wants to go then me and teege will do the christmas tree by ourselves. and he will just have to feel left out. and i won't feel left out that he chose his brother over us b/c i will have a lovely time taking my son to pick out the perfect tree (a small one b/c i won't be able to put up a big one by myself, not a real one anyway. those suckers are heavy!) and it will be decorated so pretty by the end of the day that he will cry b/c he missed it all.
i know. my feelings are just hurt. and my supper was HORRIBLE so new baby and i haven't had much to eat tonight.and my hormones feel like they are wired to electrical outlets and i am going to explode at any moment.
i'm going to make me some tea.
and if i don't feel more rational by then i don't think i'll be calling him to tell him good night,or anything else.
he can call me when he goes to bed and hopefully i will be asleep enough not to reach thru the phone and strangle him.
she was very nice.
TJ really liked her.
which is more than i can say for his last dr. he'd cry every time anyone was in the room with us.
bottom line diagnosis:
he didn't have any fever while we were there (of course not! why would he act sick at the dr?)
however he did manage to cry hard enough that you could hear how congested and hoarse he is.
his chest and ears are clear, however his nose, is not.
they gave him his 2nd round of flu.
i asked the dr if there would be a problem with him having gotten a vaccine and the possibility of him spiking a fever this evening.
she didn't seem to see any issue with it. (though i did) i didn't think they would have done it at all given the fact that he had had fever in the last 24 hrs) but said that i shouldn't focus so much on him having a fever as i should pay attention to how much he's eating and drinking and if he continues to make tears. but if his fever did come back tonight to bring him back in tomorrow. go figure. dr's don't count anything as a fever unless it's 101 or above.
so she thinks he might have a cold.
that's all she said.
i hate it that they couldn't really find anything wrong with him. but then again i guess it's a good thing that he's not really sick.
i can't seem to get a good reading.
the butt temp keeps coming out below normal
under the arm says he has a temp of 100.5( that was yesterday morning.) which means i'm not taking his temp right in his behind -or my thermometer is on the fritz.
last night i finally got a good read on the ear thermometer and it showed 100.0
regardless i have just decided he is sick with something and has a fever of some sort.
oh, and he's cutting molars too. if i thought teething was bad when he cut his first set of teeth, well this is a nightmare!
i've been running his humidifier in his room. he sounds AWFUL! in his chest.
i can't tell if he's congested or just going hoarse. sometimes when he cries or is playing and trying to make certain pitches no noise comes out.
but he's got this AWFUL barking dry cough deep in his chest.
he had an appt today anyway for his 2nd round of flu shot. but he probably won't get it if he's sick.
his appt was at 4. but since he's sick i moved it to 10 30.
which means i better go b/c it's 9 46 and i still need to wash my face and brush my teeth so we can get on the road!
wish us luck!
i'll let you know what the dr says.
VP~ THANK YOU SO MUCH for looking for that crayola item for me. i am so glad you didn't duke it out with the woman -though it would have been a sight i'm sure. i'm sorry she was rude to you. walmart does indeed breed rudeness i'm afraid. i need to go get groceries today and i'm thinking that i may just go to H E B instead,just to avoid the scroogey shoppers.. i appreciate you. you are very sweet!
ok -so on with the story!
we find out a week from today -if new baby cooperates - if we are having a boy or a girl.
here's some of the names we have picked:
(joy is my mom's name so we want to keep it in the mix as a middle name.)
Natalie Joy - my first pick.
TJ also likes :
Tiffany (too 1980's for me)
and Tanya (i like it alot!) Tanya Joy sounds great! but we will not be calling new baby "TJ" as well, if we use the same initials.
i also like:
Boy names are so easy!!!
we both like:
nathan (tj hated this name when i begged for it before Teege was born. but he's all for it now!)
(i hate it)
i like Carter -TJ hates that.
i like nathan alexander - tj thinks its too much of a mouth full.
we both like:
i have a feeling if it's a boy - and i still have great suspicion it is - that travis justin will win out on this one. it's the easiest.
and big TJ's real name is Timothy Justin so -him being the daddy and all - both boys will be carrying pieces of his first name. Timothy James and Travis Justin -it has a good solid ring to it.
funny -i'm kind of almost hoping for a girl now -now that we have settled on some good girl names.
i'm really torn! boys are so easy!
hopefully we'll find out easily and i can spread the news!
Thursday, December 11, 2008
9:30 pm - i had been in bed for 20 minutes. just long enough to doze off.
TJ begins to cry. "well if he's going to wake up tonight it may as well be early on"
9:35ish -Tj is dozing back off. i can hear him singing to himself over the monitor.
10:30 - he's awake again. crying. badly. i get up and go in and see about him. mom is up too. diaper change and a drink of water are given. mom goes back to bed and i rock in dad's big chair til tj is quiet and mostly asleep.
11:05 - Tj is back in his bed and so am i.
1 am - he's up again. this time mom meets me in the hall and tells me that she'll take care of it and go back to bed.so i do.
2 am -he's crying again! i don't know if he'd been awake this whole time b/c i dozed back off at some point. i get up this time and peek down the hall and my dad is in there trying to settle him back down.
"you shouldn't be in here you have to work!" i try and exclaim quietly. my dad has to be up at 4:15 to get ready for work. dad said he didn't mind giving it a shot since he was already awake and TJ had been awake so long. but of course i had been spotted by tj himself so i wasn't totally off the hook.
2:30 -he's had a sippy cup of milk. some tylenol b/c i'm sure he's teething. i changed his jammies b/c i just couldn't' shake the feeling that, even though it was freezing outside and mighty chilly in his room if the door is shut, that he was hot. we got comfy in the chair and he immediately starts to doze.
3 am -we're both back in our own beds -again.
6 am - this was the longest stint he slept. i didn't even give him much of a chance to let him get awake. i went in and got him out of his crib. my parents have a right comfy futon in the room where tj sleeps. so rather than going BACK to the living room chair i plopped down right there. (this is where i made a HUGE mistake)
once i got him back to sleep -which took less than 5 minutes probably- i just laid him on my chest and went to sleep. we both slept on the futon til 7:45. though he did wake up about every 20 minutes or so and fuss i managed to keep him asleep enough that we caught a few more z's.
but we'll see how tonight goes.
if it wasn't for the sake of him disrupting the whole house -especially with my dad having to go work so early -i'd let him cry it out like i do at home. but since someone went in every time he woke up - the kind of wake ups where you can tell he's NOT going back to sleep without a fight - AND i allowed him to sleep with me for those last few hrs, well, i will not be expecting a good nights sleep tonight either b/c now he knows "if i pitch a big enough fit mom will let me sleep with her just so i'll shut up."
i think we'll go to walmart when it warms up some and get the stuff to make sock puppets. i need something to look forward to so i don't loose it today and they will keep him good and entertained.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
I FOUND IT THOUGH!
that one piddly item left on my christmas list.
my quest for crayola continued this morning.
when i woke up of course i just had to recheck all websites and stores mentioned in the previous posts just to see if by some christmas miracle my wonderful toy was floating out there somewhere with my name on it.
amazon was still selling theirs at 15$ more.
the target website looked promising. they had none available online but there search engine for store location availability was up and running.
turns out -according to the web site -the store by my house had plenty. the trick was getting there to get one -since i'm an hr away. and didn't have it in my plans to go home for a few more days.(though i would have gone there and come back if it meant i could get my last christmas gift!)
so i call. hoping they had one and planning on begging someone to let me pay over the phone and PUHLEEZE hold it til i could get there to pick it up this weekend.
they had none.
(update the darn web page smart pod!)
with absolutely no faith left that crayola would come thru for me, i went to crayola.com to search their "where to buy" buttons for the glow station. again.
i tried every button. there were at least a dozen web sights listed that returned "no items found" or "out of stock" upon all of my searches.
i sighed and clicked on the last button knowing that i would get an "out of stock result" b/c yesterday they had none. i know! i checked!
kbtoys opens up on the screen and with weary fingers i type my request in the search engine.
my wonderful- mus-t have- toy pops up on the screen.......
WITH BRILLIANT BRIGHT GREEN LETTERS SCREAMING ACROSS THE PAGE "IN STOCK!"
it was too good to be true. i almost didn't believe it.
with shipping included(but no sales tax to my surprise) it was around 36$. i would have spent about 15$ each on the boys so i only came out 6$ over budget(which is not bad at all!) and it still came out cheaper than at amazon before they even add their shipping!
i slapped that thing thru the checkout so fast my head was spinning.
i'm still waiting to get a back order email or something(knock on wood 100X!)
i still swear they were out of stock yesterday. maybe i looked at a different store and just thought i was checking kbtoys.
it's on it's way.
it'll be here by the 22nd at the latest.
and i can finally quit worrying about it.
now i just hope the boys like it.
yeah. i obsess a lot.
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
apparently it's sold out all over the universe.
did you know crayola has 2 web sights? for those of you who are as "not smart" as me to figure this out there is crayola.com, where you can browse a list of activities, craft ideas, and crayola products and where to buy them.
but you have to go to crayolastore.com to actually order products from the crayola makers themselves!
after my long search i finally figure out where to order the damn thing direct from crayola and guess what?
they have none.
apparently that's why no one else has any.i also learned during my "quest for crayola" that this item is one of the top ten hotest items for christmas. another reason why they are all gone. i could bid on ebay. but i'm not that desperate.i saw one hanging on the shelf at walmart about 2 weeks ago and i briefly thought of snatching it up for this very reason -but i didn't. i wans't sure at the time who would be getting it.
oh well. i snoozed and i loozed. lesson learned.
i'm glad it's not for my kid or i'd just die for sake of not having one!
i think i may use some of the rewards points from our credit card program to get the boys a gift card to toysrus. they won't be at christmas this year anyway as it's the first christmas their parents are divorced and will more than likely be attending christmas with dh's side of the family at a different time than us.
all of it.
this year i've managed to do the most of it online. with the acception of a few small items i picked up at walmart for folks like the neighbors kids.
i can't find one thing.
it's the last item on my list for TJ's nephews.
it's the crayola glow station. the big plug in black board that you wright on with a crystal looking pen and your art work glows in the dark. you can only use the thing holed up in a dark room but it looks so friggin' cool! i just had to get it for somebody. i wanted to get it for the 2 boys to share b/c it's about 30 bucks and that's dbl my budget that i would spend on 1 of them. so i thought they'd be able to share it.
only i can't find it.
it's out of stock at :
walmart - in store and online.
target -it's the same thing.
michaels websight says they have it but they don't allow purchases on line. if i were at home i'd call and see if the one down the street from me has it. but i'm not.so i won't.
no one has any.
not at toysrus, or kabee toys,or kohles.
overstock doesn't even have any!
most of the websights on crayola.com listed as "places to buy" don't return anything that matches the search results. so why are they on the list if they don't carry it?
and don't get me started on amazon.com
last year i found the BEST deals at amazon. i think we did almost all of our shopping with them.this year it seems like everything costs more on amazon. i've seen several items for dbl the cost of a normal store.
all of the normal stores have the glow station listed roughly between 25 and 30$. amazon has it priced starting at 39.99. some places that amazon sells for have it going as high as 60! and the one place that has it priced right on amazon is coming from target -who doesn't have it.
i guess i have to figure something else out.
anyone have any suggestions for anything for little boys 3 and 6 years of age? b/c i am fresh out!
i'm going to start my christmas cards today. i should probably start that as little TJ is taking a nap and i don't really want to waste doing nothing.
i'm still at my moms. i'll probably be here thru at least saturday.
i bought my nice neighbor a candle and i'm going to make her a basket of christmas goodies for being so helpful in my hairbrained, unexpected,extended christmas vacation. she offered to help. and she also said "if you want to stay longer just let me know."
so i thought i'd make her a goodie bag to thank her for putting up with me.
now if i could just make it thru a day without feeling dumpy i'd be good.
i do have slums of depression still. and i'm not at home to mope around about dh not being here. so who knows what the deal is. there's tension -terrible knots -in my back -the kind under the shoulder blade that you can't reach well - that my mom can't seem to get rid of no matter how much she rubs and mashes on them. i wonder if that's on of the ailments that comes with depression. the commercial says it can come with physical aches and pains. though i wouldn't say i'm severly depressed. not really even mildly so. it kind of feels more like PMS run wild.
of course i am pregnant. and looking more and more like there is a basketball under my shirt each day. and that is enough to cause all sorts of stress and tension. normally i relax more when i'm here.
i'm on it!
oh, and i don't guess i'm going to go see twilight again.as bad as i wanted to. i just don't want to go by myself.
i'm sure over the 2 weeks that dh is home this month he will take me b/c he'll want to make up for being gone.
Saturday, December 6, 2008
i came to my moms on wednesday afternoon. it's saturday.
i was planning on going home monday.
then i realized that i was managing to stay home for only about a week before i hit that moody place where i couldn't stand being home alone anymore. it can be very daunting taking care of an almost toddler all alone.i know i chose this kind of life, but it's amazing how much harder and worse everything can seem when your spouse is aways. not that hundreds of women don't already do it every day, but for me, well, after a while i just get kind of depressed and lonely. so why not come and visit my parents?
we're very close. and it's only a 45 minute drive.
now if i lived out of state and couldn't' come home whenever i wanted. OR if my husband spent less time away and i had just enough time to enjoy the peace and quiet, i would stay put.
but right now -especially with being pregnant and feeling all hormonal and sorry for myself unwillingly at times - it's just such a nice break to come here. it doesn't mean that mom and dad do all of the work with my kid ,and the extra cooking too, while i sit with my feet up watching tv and eating bonbons - auntie comes to play with little TJ and give him his bath after dinner some nights -most nights really - and i still play with him quite a bit and handle as much of the middle of the night crisis crying as i can -when allowed. sometimes my parents jump in -unless i tell them i have a handle on things -and send me back to bed.
or they'll get up with him in the morning and let me sleep.
so it's not like i come here to sit on my butt and let someone else be the parent. i just get so bored at home why not come here and be bored with ppl i love?
TJ doesn't mind.
the dogs are with me so it's not like i left them in the care of any nutty (or busy) neighbors.
i don't mind barricading the cats in the house with a few days supply of food and H20.
but this time, my very nice neighbors -the ones with all the kids that take such good care of me -called on friday and asked if they had permission to go in and check on the cats and put my trash can up.
SURE! if you want to.
and then good neighbor also said "don't feel weird about asking us to help you. i know you're going back and forth alot and don't want to have to ask. but it's not like we'd even have to check on the cats but every few days. i'll go check on things this evening and if you decide you don't want to come home just call me. it's not a problem. if i was close to my mom, and she lived close enough to visit and i was pregnant with a small child and my husband wasn't home to help me i would be gone visiting alot to."
so now i just don't know when i want to go home!!
we have to make at trip to my nieces birthday tomorrow anyway, and they only live like 20 minutes from my house. so dad said he'd swing me by so i can check on things myself and restock on some supplies like diapers.
they way i look at it, if i stay an extra week by the time i start feeling blue again it'll be time for TJ to come home for christmas and i won't have a reason to feel blue. he'll be home in 2 weeks anyway.
on the other hand i kind of feel like a whimp for spending so much time here.
but i'd be doing pretty much the same stuff at home that i would be here -i'd just feel more stressed and unhappy.
atleast when i'm here i just feel tired but not so ragged out.
course i did work awful hard on my outside christmas lights and they aren't getting used right now.....
Thursday, December 4, 2008
we were going to go to target and ikea and my dr's appt together. 20 minutes after her call the dr's office calls. my dr has called in sick - can i come tomorrow?
um, not really. my baby sitter is already on her way. not that we couldn't have atleast still gone shopping. but it would be much easier to have her at the clinic to hold the baby while i had to do 2 handed things like pee in a cup. can't hold a wiggly toddler and do that very well.
so i asked if i could just see another dr.
there are 2 dr's there i haven't met yet. it's always a good idea to meet all the OB's that work in the clinic so that if someone other than your dr ends up delivering your baby you don't have to wonder "who are you and why are you in here looking at my 'stuff'?"
so i got in with one of the newer dr's. he was funny. i wouldn't have minded if he had to deliver my new baby aside from the fact that he is HOT! just like the anastheisoligist last year that i was silently cursing for looking at my pregnant butt during the epidural -although he probably wasn't looking. that's one thing about pregnancy. they say all of your modesty goes out the window after you've had a baby. not for me.
back on track now:
the first words out of his mouth -aside from the standar introductions are "i noticed your insurance was military insurance. is your husband active duty?"
so we chatted about that while he's trying to find the heart beat. he's ex air force.
still searching for the heart beat.
we chatted more about where TJ is and what he's doing.
dr was very impressed.
i notice him sneaking peeks at my face. "don't worry" i say "we had trouble last time too"
(atleast my regular dr would say soothing things like "don't worry." and " i know you're in there") so i wouldn't freak out.
he seemed to be wondering where the heck the baby was hiding.
we'd catch a whisper of a heartbeat every now and then.
"it's probably a girl" he mumbles. aparriently girls are fast swimmers and tend to shy away from the sound waves. little TJ loved them. he was NEVER hard to locate.
eventually he starts to laugh "well, where haven't i looked??" he exclaims as he's whizzing the micraphone thingy across my tummy.
"i might just get out the ultrasound and take a peek."
a few more seconds go by.
he throws the door open and says "i'm tired of chasing this baby! i can't find it! bring me a machine!"
all is well.
the baby is in there.
just hiding way down there.
the heart rate suggested it's a boy.
so now that dr is stumped.
we all think it's a boy.
but we find out dec. 22.
he didn't seem concerned about anything. though the fact that the baby was so low seemed to bug him a little. or it could have been my imagination.
he said they'd call if the ultrasound looked like there was a problem.i guess they have them review all ultrasounds -even if they aren't look for anything more than a heart beat.
i should have asked him if he could tell what the sex was. but i was just glad to know that there was indeed still a healthy baby in there and didn't think of it til it was too late.
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
that recepie we made EVER YEAR when i was growing up. i hated them -well, to a point. it was such a daunting task to get the dough made and chilled and rolled out and cut out and baked. and we made pan after pan after pan. and then we had to ice them all. ugh. it was an all day affair some times. come to find out -as i'm prepairing for this task that would take me 3 days since i had no sisters to help me this time - that when we made them when we were kids we made a double recepie. WHEW! i was so relieved. but i had already called my neighbor (the good one :))
and asked her if she wanted to split the dough with me. so i made a double recepie. and i will take half to her so she and her kids can have a cookie making day!
i couldn't find ANY christmas cookie cutters at walmart today!
i was pissed about this. of all of the places not to have christmas cookie cutters,you wouldn't think walmart would be the place. they had christmas tins, plastic christmas storing and serving containers,they even had christmas party favors.but no cookie cutters.
they had "cookie pans" that were basically shallow muffin pans in christmas shapes.i figured the gingerbread dough woulnd't work in b/c it's so sticky.and the pan was 8$ -and it only held 6 cookies at a time -if that.
i asked several different ppl about where i could fine some.
all's they could point me toward was the tub -yes TUB -of cookie cutters. the plastic ones. not the nice metal or bronze i was looking for. the "tub" had 100 cookie cutters in it. was it worth it? to get like 6 christmas cutters out of? the rest was mainly made up of abc's and numbers. it cost 9 bucks. no thanks. i'll cut me gingerbread dough out with a glass and wait for the good cookie cutters.
i finally stumbled across an empty isle display of christmas cookie cutters.for 4$.the nice bronze metal ones. all's they had left were the trains. they were out of the good ones. so i left without anything.
funny thing. one of the workers i asked for help, was standing on the isle right across from the display and she pointed me in another direction.guess she wasn't very observant -of course, neither was i. but she worked in that department. she should have known they were staring us in the back!
when i called to gripe about this to my mom she started digging thru her cookies cutter bag to see what she had that i could use, only to discover that over the years she had accumulated at least 3 of each kind. so i'm getting christmas cookie cutters of my very own from my mother's kitchen tomorrow! she's coming out and going to my dr's appt with me (new baby checkup) and then we're going to ikea b/c she want's to look at some stuff for my sister for christmas.
i need to download some chipmunk music for little TJ to listen to. he had a blast when his auntie played the movie for him on our last visit over. i recorded it off the tv last night and played it again today and he kept trying to pull up to the screen and point! i finally strapped him in his high chair in the living room so he could see better. he sure does like to dance!
and there was an advertisement for a chipmunk cd( not the soundtrack for the movie) and he really thought that was fun. he laughed and danced to that too!
ok. it's my turn. i have been silently licking my wounds for the last week now after seeing the movie. dragging out the last few pages online of "midnight sun", playing scenes from the movie and the book over and over i my head.
i want to go see it again.
men like "edward" don't exist. but there is something about the idea of "edward" that just makes me swoon.
that was probably stephenie's idea in the first place when she started the book.
seeing the movie the first time - well, lets just say i was kind of a mess afterwards.
i had been visiting my parents and me and my sister went. i was supposed to return home that same day.
but after seeing that movie -that tragic and beautiful love story - i couldn't bring myself to tollerate the idea of going home. to my empty house.
TJ kind of forgets to be attentive when he's away. it's kind of out of sight out of mind with him.not that's he's all that romantic when he's home. he just kind of cuts off when he's gone and only call's b/c it's the right thing to do. of course it's better this time than it has been in the past. deployments are the real kicker. he pays little to no attention to home at all b/c it's "easier not to miss it".
and though i could find plenty of stuff to pick at about the movie -like how the scenes felt rushed to me, and the whole movie seemed to squish together before you could put together what was going on -i'd like to go again. i would have already gone if i had a good baby sitter here at my disposal. but i'd rather wait til i'm back at my parents and i can leave him for a couple of hrs with them and go.
now that i have a better handle on myself, maybe if i go see it again, i won't sleep,eat, and breath twilight.
oh, crazy nieghbor made it back from her trip alright.
i didn't call the other helper and "remind" her a 3rd time about the cat box. she called me at 5 on the dot that day and sent her daughter right over. shame though. she didn't even think about it until i mentioned it. and it still took her up to the day before neighbors return to take care of it.
TJ made it home from and back to OK alright. nothing major to report there. we had our yearly 3 thanksgivings. it was exhausting. we only got to spend friday undisturbed as a family.
thanksgiving day was a flop.
well, all the parts that were spent at places other than my house or my parents.
i hadn't given TJ's grama a 2nd thought at being a problem. though i knew she had treated TJ's mom very poorly when TJ was born. like the poor woman -who was only 18 at the time) had rock for a brian -or mud. come to find out grama really just doesn't like TJ's mom. also come to find out the only folks who can do no wrong in grama's eyes are TJ, and his dad.
i got yelled at first thing thanksgiving day b/c little TJ had on no shoes.
"WHERE ARE HIS SHOES!?"
"i don't put shoes on him yet."
"WELL HE NEEDS 'EM!"
"it's not cold out side grama, it's almost 80 degrees."
"BUT THE FLOOR IS COLD! WE DON'T HAVE CARPET!"
"it's easier for him to learn to walk in bare feet and he won't leave the shoes on anyway. "
she let it go after that.
it really was warm that day. i was even a bit stuffy. they say if your cold or hot then your child is too.
well we visited and ate and when it came time to leave big TJ was carrying little TJ out the door and everyone was smothering him like they always do(on that side of the family they just cuddle him to death! he hates it and he squirms and fusses and they just keep on with it!) and we walk past the dessert table and little TJ points at the chocolate cake. his daddy thought it would be fun to let him stick his finger in it and see what would happen.
no biggie. he had just shared a piece of pie with us. he was only going to let him have a taste.
but grama thought it was cute. and she did it again. and again.
and then she says " wrap him up a piece and take it for the road." real sweet. she obviously was addressing my husband and not me.
i say "oh he doesn't need it"
and right in my ear i hear "WELL HE WANTS IT AND HE SHOULD HAVE IT!"
TJ jumps in about some saying about "this is how the republicans and the democrats are like parents and grandparents. the grandparents are always trying to jump in and take over when the parents are trying to "parent their kids" or something like that(whatever that means)
i get all upset as grama goes storming around the kitchen looking for foil and go take the bag out to the car before i either cry and scream.
then i'm standing out on the porch talking to my other mother in law(the one who's married to TJ's dad now) and grama comes huffing out the door
she inturrupts me like a kid. i was talking! hello!
"HERE'S THAT BABY'S CAKE!"
and she shoves a covered plate at me. i lean in to hug her goodbye and say "grama, he doesn't need all that sugar. he's already had pie."
"WELL IF YOU DON'T WANT HIM TO HAVE ALL OF IT THEN SHARE IT WITH HIM BUT HE SHOULD GET SOME."
i roll my eyes and go get in the car.
it probably wouldn't have bothered me had i not been pregnant. under any other circumstances i probably would have just taken the cake sweetly and thrown it out the window once we were on the road.
but instead i was totally pissed off at her!
instead i bristled up like a mamma cat.
it was the principal i guess.
i said he didn't need the cake. and she gives it to him anyway. it was still in my control b/c it was up to me WHEN and IF he got it. but i had said no. she should have backed off.
i'm not the kind of parent that is going to give her kids everything they want. and he's only a year old. he wouldn't have remembered a thing about the cake once we were out the door had we left without it.
TJ's mom atleast can be commical. she had said something to me when we were there saturday about "putting TJ's hat on" when we were going out to swing. it was very windy. i didn't know where his jacket had been stashed. and TJ's mom had bought little TJ a couple of winter hats. ones that were big enough to cover his ears -since his head is too big for toddler hats. it was a suggestion. i made mention of "it might be too windy once we get out there."
and she says "you could put on one of his new hats."
"good idea!" and i meant it.
and i hear her say to herself "listen to me being a bossy grama"
i turned right around and at the top of my inside voice i say "YOU HAVEN'T HEARD NOTHING UNTIL YOU SPENT THURSDAY OUT AT TJ'S DADDYS HOUSE! I WANTED TO KILL GRAMA!"
she just nodds her head in sympathy as i lay out my story without even trying to sound polite. "that's one of the reasons why i divorced TJ's dad.i could not stand that woman."
i've got news for those grandparents that think they can do whatever they want with my kids simply b/c they are old and have had kids before and think that the term "great grama" means they get to break all my rules:
when my childern are at your house and i am not there to give instruction and guidance you can feed them whatever and take them where ever and let them stay up as late as they want and watch as much tv as they want.
but as long as i am accompanying my family on a visit to your house, what i say stands.
I am the mother.if you can't treat me with respect that that deserves than we won't come to visit til you can keep your opinions to yourself.
grandparents can make suggestions all they want. and most of the time they make sense.atleast my parents and TJ's mom ask before doing things -unless i'm not there. or they make a suggestion but don't complain and compare when i do something my way.
but he didn't need the damn cake! he'd already had plenty of pie. she should have minded her own business but she just had to give him that cake.
i threw the cake away.
the last time he had chocolat cake with icing it took me nearly 4 hrs to get him to bed that night.
when she wants to be the one dealing with that she can give him all the cake he wants.