Friday, October 31, 2008

i did it!

this is going to sound like a silly post to most of you. but it was a big thing for me.

i voted today.

by myself.
those stupid electronic machines weren't going to hold me back!

i took teege with me, strapped him in his stroller, looked horrifyingly at the VERY LONG LINE of ppl streaming out of the public library and cowered there in the parking lot, on the phone with my mother, wondering if i had it in me to wait THAT LONG! it's early voting folks! hadn't you already done this? shouldn't you be at work at 9 30 in the morning? where did they all come from!
it was growing steadily closer to nap time, and even closer to the moment where i knew that "new baby" was going to demand that i EAT SOMETHING!
but i loaded us all up and off we went, hurrying across the parking lot trying to get in line before anyone else showed up!!

good grief.

as i took my place in line a nice lady came out to make sure that everyone had what they needed to vote. then she rambled on about the "other 2 voting locations that have very minimal waiting. the ymca and the ACC college campus......." both were across town from where i stood. and i was deathly afraid to put teege back in his car seat and unload him again. i could feel the melt down coming on. i knew he'd be happier if left alone. ".........please be aware that once you hit the sidewalk the wait is 25 to 30 minutes" i'm looking up ahead, way ahead, at the sidewalk, wondering how long it will take me to get up there. also the "clerks" kept marching down the side walk yelling at folks to "turn off their cell phones once they entered the building b/c the computers were crashing!" i turned mine off before i ever got close to the front doors.

i see several women in line up ahead with more than one kid and finally i figure to myself that since i had thought to bring all the staples needed to stave off any serious events of craziness i could stand there amongst the other crazies trying to beat out standing in line for hours on election day. i knew if i didn't do it now i never would. so i quit trying to think up reasons to get out of line and come home.
besides i just felt quilty when i thought of NOT voring.and it had been bugging me ever since TJ started going on and on about how if he didn't do it today he either wouldn't get to or he'd have to vote absintee -since he's leaving this weekend for OK-which neither of us know anything about and i just felt guilty every time i though to myself "it's really not that big of a deal."

well, yeah, i mean, it could be my "non vote" that tipped the election in the direction that i didn't want it to go!(not that i can say much about how i want the election to go b/c i do not follow politics. i never have. this is only the 2nd time i have voted in my life! i just don't pay attention to it. i never have. until i met TJ. he's all over the politics, and the stocks and bonds. he knows about all that stuff. i feel so dumb sometimes when he's rambling on about these types of things b/c i have no idea how it's supposed to be, or how we should "Want it" to be, or even what he's talking about)

anyway, all in all i was there from start to finish for 30 minutes. give or take. not nearly as bad as i though.
there were 2 life saving little girls there with their mother. they were tori-5, and marlee-3 and they were the BEST DISTRACTION for me and little tj. they played peek a boo and patted his head and talked to him and IT WAS GREAT!

once i came in to view of the room we were to vote in i started to shake. literally.
those machines were HUGE! and so intimidationg looking. enough that i actually felt sorry for the old man standing behind me. i felt like there was no way he'd figure it out!
and no one told me when i went to vote for my very first time that you could vote straight party so i sat there, in my little box, filling in each bubble, like an idiot.
so i was totally grateful for the sweet old ladies that were patrolling the room giving instructions and helping everyone at least get up to the point where they could cast their vote.
it really wasn't a big deal.
but i felt so big for going and doing it all by myself.
especially since it's not something i have ever cared about before, nor am i familiar with the process -which was more the problem than anything
and no. i made sure not to check each box this time.
nope. i knew all about voting straight party this time.

oh, and when i relayed all this to TJ when he was on his way back from ft hood and told him he might want to try one of the other voting places b/c the library just seemed to be way popular!(the library moved over 1500 voters yesterday and the other 2 places moved less than 1000 combined.) he went to the YMCA and waited for - yup- about a minute. there were like 3 ppl in line when he got there.
i should have been brave enough to load us up and try it out.
oh well.
i guess all the folks down here only know where the library is.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

a note

grey's hasn't started yet.
teege is in bed.
though my kitchen is a mess i just had to stop and say that
it's supposed to be in the low 40's tonight! that's totally Christmas holiday weather!
my heater is on and waiting! i just may fix me up a cup of hot cocoa once i figure out what i'm having for supper -that way it will be the perfect temp for dessert.

i love Christmas yes i do! i love Christmas, how 'bout you?!!

i know it's ridiculous that Christmas comes earlier every year. i mean, walmart had the Christmas decorations out on the shelf at the same time they put all the Halloween stuff up! but if i did have it my way, Christmas would be a season in itself. i mean, it kind of is b/c most ppl start decorating and listening to holiday music the day after thanksgiving, but i think Christmas should last like fall or summer does. for months at a time!!

yes, call me crazy. my husband will very much agree with you! i turned on a Christmas movie our first and very recent cold snap of the fall season.(he was still in bed, i figured i could get away with it!) The Santa Clause with Tim Allen - love that movie!Have all 3 of them but the first one is the best.
TJ just shook his sleepy head at me and plopped down in his recliner until i reluctantly told him he could turn on something else. i knew what was coming:
football! over a Christmas movie? come on!

i would have been the greatest Mrs. Clause!

quick post

so you might not see me for a while.
i have a birthday party to get ready for! and since it's just me to clean up and straighten out the house and make cupcakes for 25 ppl -which means i should probably make enough for each person to have 2 (THAT'S A LOT OF CUPCAKES!)- starting today you may not see me around much.
i'm dividing the house work up over a couple of days, and i guess i'll spend saturday on the cupcakes -which just leaves the decorating to do sunday -and the cupcakes to frost i guess(i hope).

after that TJ has taken leave for all of next week. he leaves for ft sill the following weekend so he'll be home all next week which means again that you probably won't see me much.

Don't worry. i have learned my lesson about cleaning my house spotless before a ton of ppl come over. it doesn't matter. no one notices and the house is dirtier when everyone leaves than it was before you cleaned it so they could show up. i'm just going to do the basic easy stuff where folks will see it -vacuuming the living room, dusting in the rooms ppl will see b/c it needs to be done anyway and there will be time, spruce up the guest bath,only sweeping the kitchen (no mopping here)b/c - face it - there's going to be at least 5 kids that are old enough to have a cupcake at the party -so i'm sure i'll have ice cream dripped and cupcake smashed on the floor by the end of the day.

by the way -does anyone have any idea about beverages?
i though of making punch, and then decided that was taking it too far. a couple of different sodas, maybe a kind friendly drink like koolaid or juice? no, koolaid is out. i already know my sister in law doesn't give her kids koolaid b/c of the dye and my neighbors kids really only drink water. maybe i should make a punch? no, that really does seem silly. punch is for like weddings and baby showers. of course there's nothing faster than throwing together ginger ale or 7up and lime sherbet-that always makes great punch!
HEY! what about lemonade?? everyone likes lemonade! i'd buy the country time brand -it's great. and there's no dye! ooooooooohhhh!! pink lemonade!!! well, i bet pink lemonade has dye in it, but not as much as say Hawaiian punch koolaid -which my sister -shades- and 2 of my cousins used to tease me was bats blood when i was a kid. i still have a hard time drinking that!LOL!
i think i just solved my own problem! blogging really does help you think sometimes!

anyway, i better get going if i'm going to get this done. i'll be sure to post pics-eventually. my baby is turning one!

Monday, October 20, 2008

sweet moments.....

this morning started out more than frustrating. but even these kinds of times do have moments worth reflecting on.

when big TJ is home the weekends are lazy and quiet. but the morning that he gets up early to go back to work proves more than irritating. every time.

it's the gosh darn alarm system. it beeps when you disarm it. and teege wakes up every time. it's usually done in the wee hours of morning. you know, at the butt crack of dawn. i have told TJ time and time again - we need to figure out a way to do this more quietly. teege is a sensitive sleeper. and each time tj tries to be quieter than the last and each time i think he's being louder.

it started at 5 15 this morning. we turn off the alarm alarm and the anticipated wails come over the monitor.
i gave teege a solid hour before going in. i just let him cry it out. i try my hardest not to go in and mess with him until it's 7 30 or later. thinking ahead -my goals for long term -what time do i want my toddler to get up down the road? 6 30? 8? so i try and make him wait it out til at least 7 30. some days it just doesn't work to my favor. some days he goes back to sleep after some good fussing - but today, not so much.

so i go in. quiet him down. lay him back down. go out.
cry cry cry.
this goes on for a good 30 minutes. walk in. walk out. drink of water. pat pat pat.change the diaper. rock rock rock. back in to the crib.
"it's not time to wake up baby."
at some point i'm thinking to myself, "i should just let him get up." but i had a very long busy sleepless weekend and i was drugged up on benadryl to boot. i wanted to go back to sleep.
so i take him back out of the crib and have a seat on the little couch in his room. he eventually settles down. snuggles up. chatters a little bit at the wall. the next thing i hear:
sweet. solid. quiet. snoring.
i have trained my child in the ways of independent sleep. he always goes down awake and puts himself to sleep. when he wakes up in the night he is always given the chance to settle himself before i take over. so much so that for me he will never sit quietly and rock or snuggle until drowsy. he always rocks with his daddy, even so far as to be allowed to be rocked to sleep. but i have structured him so well to independent sleep that when i try and have a moment with him he looks at me with this look on his face that says "what are you doing woman? we don't do this! this is not normal!"

but this morning i relished in the moment. as irritated as i was for being roused at 5 15 this morning it was a sweet moment. one that we have not had since his new baby days.
i laid him back in his crib at 7 20. he didn't even stir.
and he slept til 9 30.
so all in all in a way, i got to sleep in.
i do need to learn some discipline when it comes to getting him up in the morning.
i am horrible about turning down the monitor and dozing til i'm good and ready to get up.
this needs some work.
maybe it will be my focus this week.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

i wonder......

you know when i was a little girl and i'd be outside in the fall i would step on acorns and squash them. i liked the hear them "crack" under my feet.
yesterday we went out for a walk. we had a cool front come in and it was 71 degrees all day and it was nice!! and i found myself hopping along the side walk stepping on acorns.did you know that most of the time the green ones "crack" and the brown ones "squish" unless it's just changed from green to brown then it kind of "snaps".

i woke up this morning and looked outside. it's overcast and breezy. a nice chilly 61degrees! i threw open the windows and made the coffee and thought to myself "IT FEELS LIKE CHRISTMAS! today would be a great day to make hot cocoa and watch Christmas movies and burn Christmas/winter scented candles!" (forget halloween and thanksgiving! i always want to go straight to Christmas at the first signs of fall!)

speaking of the first sign of fall:
on our walk yesterday there were leaves everywhere! falling out of trees! blowing down the street. rustling with the wind.
and then of course the acorns on the ground. that's always a dead giveaway.

i hate it. never have been much of a fan of it, but living here makes it worse. the folks in this neighborhood decorate for Halloween just like it is the night of the living dead. seriously!
i have always put out a pumpkin on the porch and such - and if i were going to decorate it would put out like a friendly scarecrow and nice looking ghost and maybe carve a few happy pumpkins.
there are ppl over here who hang dead bodies out their trees. some of the scary stuff doesn't bother me. like the skeletons and some of the witches - but dead bodies? that is just overdoing it! totally gives me goosebumps.
there's a house on the street behind us that i won't even walk by without crossing the street. there is a head separated from a body on the roof, 4 dead bodies hanging in the trees -some upside down and some by a noose- and one of which hangs over the sidewalk so you have to walk under it to pass by. it's just creepy. i think halloween should be, well, not scary. of course i don't like to be scared anyway. i just wish that folks decorated more tastefully for it. some of the folks around here outshine their christmas decorations with what they do for halloween. that is disappointing. i remember touring the neighborhood right after we moved in to see if folks went all out for christmas like they did halloween. some did better. some didn't even put anything up at all. then again the street behind us is always decorated the WORST for halloween and the BEST for christmas out of the whole subdivision -maybe they have a contest i don't know about. still, i wish folks put out friendly fun decorations for halloween.

on a much more uplifting note i will leave you with this story:

a gift:
have you heard that song "i saw God today" by George Strait? it's all about the little gifts that God gives us everyday to show us "I'm still here. I will always be here" . like when you see a flower growing up out of the middle of the sidewalk. the birth of a new born baby....things like that.
my mother came to visit one day when i had a dr's appt. not to long ago. we went for a walk that morning. and i see up ahead a sparkly hair comb. it looked like a butterfly covered in dozens of shiny was just there on the sidewalk -glittering brightly. i stopped for a closer to look.
it took me several seconds of peering down at it before i realized what it was.
"mom look at this!" i said as she had wandered past me some. she comes back and looks down at the pretty comb with me.
"IT'S A LEAF!" i exclaimed!
one of those giant leaves - a perfect shaped fall leaf -like maybe the leaf from the sycamore tree - i don't know that we have those around here but it didn't look like an oak leaf.i googled tree leaves and that was the closest i could come to it was a sycamore tree leaf.
anyway it was covered in giant spots of dew! the whole thing! it glittered brilliantly under the morning sun! i honestly felt like i had been given a gift. stumbled across a jewel that had fallen out of someone's pocket.
i believe that God was saying hello to me that day.
i was completely awed. stunned to silence.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

can your head blow up from too much drama?

so after spending most of day going back and forth with the clinic and the insurance company the supervisor at the insurance place told me to call patient billing for the clinic and ask them to try and refile the claim using certain other codes.

so i did. i called and got this great lady named Debbie who listened quietly while i explained the whole entire confusing story to her and all's she said was "this actually happens all the time with this particular insurance. they have already paid the physicians fees for this bill, so there is no reason why they shouldn't pay the rest. we'll appeal with them for you, to pay the rest of the bill. don't worry about it unless you get another bill from us. they usually end up paying all of it in the end."
i wanted to cry. i spent from 9 am to 3 pm yesterday making call after call to figure something out. i should have called the billing dept in the first place. Debbie just laughed at me and said "always remember to call billing first if you have a question. we'll tell you if you need to call your insurance. most of the time we can take care of it for you. so just call us first next time."

i wanted to sit in the floor and cry after that. i could have gotten so much done yesterday if it weren't for this mess!

moving on:

our house phone, cell phone, Internet, and digital cable service are all thru at&t. we get separate bills for everything. we went to an att store back in august and they sold us on the idea of combined billing for our house and cell phones. pay it all at once, rather than get 2 bills. we thought sure, why not? so we signed up. they told us "don't pay your cell phone bill on the 1st of sept. just wait til you get your phone bill on the 15th and pay it all then." so the 15th comes and we get our land line bill and it's the same 55$ it always is. so i call the company, wanting to pay something on our cell phones so they don't get cut off. only since we signed up for combined billing we can't do that! how the plan works: it takes 2 to 3 billing cycles for the bills to catch up and combine, in the meantime you simply pay what your land line bills says and the company pays the cell phone portion for you. so when the billing cycles catch up you get one combined bill.

someone did say we could pay extra on our land line bill and it would just keep showing as credit until the bills combined. but by then it was too close to time for it to catch up so we just kind of said screw it. now i wish we hadn't.
i'm sorry but there certainly was a better way to explain it b/c had we known this was how it was done we never would have signed up for it, they never even told us it took so long to catch up or we'd have to pay so many months of cell charges combined! and it shouldn't have taken me 4 phone calls and 4 different operators later to finally understand how it worked, upon which i did tell the operator "well this kind of sucks! ya'll really should try and figure out a better way to do this so folks aren't hit with such big bills for a service that should be fairly convenient."

something else: or BAH is going down. it's not much. the army allows us like 1300.00 for housing each month. basically they make our payment for us. it goes up or down depending on where you're stationed.well since TJ is working in a different town, where the cost of living is cheaper, they dropped our housing allowance.even though we live in a different town where everything costs more.
the thing that makes this bad is that it's not going down enough to matter really,a couple hundred bucks i think.but they're taking it all at once off one check.
TJ hasn't gotten his fed rec orders yet. when he is federally recognized as a military officer he will finally start getting paid as an officer. he's still working as a 2nd LT at a new location and he is still getting E6 pay - there is a significant difference in the pay. the bright side is we'll get back pay from the day he commissioned in July -so once it all kicks in he will get a lump sum for working as a 2nd LT already. the down side, they're taking the difference in the BAH from one place of work to the next all at once. once his pay changes to his new rank and place of work it'll go down, where as right now his pay still has him at the old location.that's 500-800$ we won't see of the back pay that we'll be getting. i guess they're not taking it off one pay check, they'll deduct it from the back pay -hopefully.
it's like that time he changed units and he got paid for the whole month from the new unit and the old. we had an extra 3000.00 we had to pay back. we put it in savings so we could just send it back in(it was direct deposit) and they made us pay it out over a period of 3 or 4 years at 1% interest. i know. it's not much. but it was frustrating. i don't know why we couldn't just send it all at once.
the army: the way they do things just irritates me sometimes!

oh, all of my shows on tv last night were reruns!! The new 90210 and Privileged. thank GOD i had stuff on the DVR to catch up on. but tuesday night is my favorite tv night and i was so mad! i mean, last week there were no previews for 90210,but there were for privileged. and then they're both reruns! WTF?
and then 90210 doesn't even come on next week!
i hate it when they start a new season of something and show reruns after just a few episodes or go 2 weeks without showing anything! like grey's anatomy! i love this show too! and the season premier was a 2 hr show and then nothing for 2 weeks! what's up with that!! come on! you just started the season and your going to show one episode and then take a couple weeks off. i was totally irritated.
there is more stuff on tv this fall that i have gotten hooked on than there has ever been before.
there's atleast 1 if not 2 shows on monday thru friday that i'm trying to juggle. thank god teege naps twice a day still or i'd never get them all watched.

alright. it's lunch time and the hungry child is calling. i'm still in my jammies anyway and it's almost noon around here.
but i did get the floor vacuumed. that counts for something. it's not like anyone is here to care that i'm not dressed or have washed my face yet anyway.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

i have had enough!

i just can't help feeling like this whole mess with the insurance company is NOT my fault -even though it very likely is.

let me start at the beginning. i will try and keep it short and as nonboring as possible.

when we moved here i started going to a clinic. i had heard good things about them from folks i worked with. the insurance covered said clinic. so i picked a PCP and off i go for a visit.

the dr i picked for my PCP got harder and harder to get in to see right after i became her patient. i went for one visit. ONE!(this was several years ago now) and after that she dropped back to working part time. every time i called for an appt it was like a month before she could see me - for ANYTHING! so i always ended up going to see a certain other dr.

i called the insurance company about changing my PCP to the other dr i was always going to see and they said "as long as that clinic files their insurance as a group you can see any dr there without any problems." so i continue going to see the new dr there and have had no issues with insurance claims or anything.

until now.

when i went in in september it all surfaced!

my original PCP had retired. so to the insurance company i was doctor-less. so when the bill went to them along with me lovely referral for prenatal care it was all kicked back.
i tried and tried to explain to the insurance that i had been going to this particular dr for 3 yrs and i was not a new patient. but to them -and to their damn computers - i was.

i guess the issues was that even though i was seeing a different dr than my original PCP that i could never get in to see ,all of my insurance claims were filed under theoriginal pcp's tax id #. so here i go to get a pregnancy test - a $165.00 pregnancy test! - and now i have to foot the bill for it?? even though she's been my dr for how long??

i called the insurance company to see if they were going to pay it and the lady tells me that my new dr -who really isn't my new dr to anyone but their computers- was only my dr as of sept 15th of this year. my office visit was for sept 9th. so even though i went in on the 9th and they submitted a referral on that same day for prenatal care they didn't get the request to have my pcp changed to my NEW/OLD dr until the 15th -when we found out the referral had been kicked out due to being submitted by a dr other than my pcp -even though i'd been seeing her for years.

are you following me here?

so i called the clinic and left a message with the nice woman at the referral desk to see if there was another way around this.
i also called the insurance ppl and left a message with the supervisor that was helping me get my pcp changed in the first place.

i just want to scream!
maybe i'll call the billing department at the clinic and see if they have any brilliant ideas.

stupid stupid stupid.

on the bright side:
i was able to drink coffee this morning! i
have missed my coffee! the sight and the smell of it have repulsed me for so long!since the day i got pregnant pretty much.
and then yesterday i see it!
in the refrigerated section at the grocery store!
my beloved limited edition international delight pumpkin spice coffee creamer!
you can only get around the fall/winter holidays.
and it finally comes in a normal sized BIG 32 oz bottle!
for years i have had to by small bottles of it.(i think about half the size or a normal flavor) i'd buy 5 or 6 bottles at a time and stick them in the freezer. i'd stock pile enough to get me at least thru the spring. it's the best stuff!
so whether i could stand it or not i was having a cup of coffee this morning.
and it was lovely!!!

Friday, October 10, 2008

the ball is rolling!

i only have a a minute!
nap time is coming to an end -well it's already over but he's happy in there chatting to himself so i'm stalling!

things with the insurance are finally resolved and i had my first appt this past wednesday.
come to find out the dr wouldn't have even seen me til the 10th week anyway so it didn't matter that the insurance was being so difficult.

i got to see the baby on the sauna gram. it was in there wiggling around, you could see it's little stubby arms flapping and the head bobbing around. heart beat was at a very steady 176bpm.
i'm feeling much better this week. i was puking last weekend but some of that i think was due to not enough rest and being too hungry. it's just too hard to eat when you feel sick. then your stomach gets too empty and decides it's going to turn on you!

i've had a UTI -which the dr decided i wasn't over so the took another sample and sent it off to the lab rather than doing a dip test on it. she thinks i may need more medicine. but we're still waiting on results.

i'm totally craving chicken lomein - i think we are eating out tonight!

baby is due may 7th.

i think that's all of the major stuff i wanted to tell you about.

now i just have to gear myself up to make like 4 dozen cupcakes for teege's 1 yr birthday coming up.
the guest list is topping 30 ppl. wow! i always forget between my family and TJ having 2 sides of moms and dad's and grandparents(his parents are divorced and remarried) that i was almost afraid to invite non family folks. but i did anyway. there's, 2 possibly 3, families coming that are of no relation to us. everyone else is family. it's going to be some party! i wonder if we should have it at the park instead of the house. my house won't hold this many ppl. well, i guess we could get a few tables and put them outside.
it's just cupcakes and ice cream anyway.
nothing fancy.

ok. my child is calling.
i'll try and do better about blogging.
there's just so much going on.
and most of the time i just want to sleep sleep sleep!