Friday, May 9, 2008

the little things

if you ever wonder for even a second if the person you married really loves you, take the time to think, whole heartedly and openly, about the little things they do for you.

my husband is leaving for the summer in a couple of weeks. he is looking for me a can of pepper spray - mostly for me to take on my walks b/c there is a very unruly red doberman that lives down the street and i can't go and check my mail b/c his fence backs up to the cluster boxes. he tries to jump the fence every time anyone goes by. and he's managed to knock several holes in his fence big enough to get his head thru. it's wonder he's even still back there. the only thing keeping him from getting thru the fence is his shoulders. all's he'd have to do is knock out another board and he's on the loose. i don't walk down to that end of the street anymore......at all.
and i can't go 8 weeks without checking the mail so TJ is buying me pepper spray to ward of the big bully dogs in this world.

we have been having issues - in the bedroom - sorry to bring this up. i won't give details.
we had a big discussion about these "issues"(or should i call them non existent issues?)
well he actually took the time to think about some things i said(again i will spare you the details) and when he came home from work he actually planted a big fat wet kiss - right on my lips!
he doesn't kiss like this just becuase. he is a pecker on the checker. a quick smack on the lips. i haven't gotten a kiss like this - for no good reason other than simply b/c he wanted to give me a "real" kiss - probably since our wedding day. that's 5 years ago. now i am sure i've gotten several kisses packed with passion, when he was actually taking the time to be passionate, before we had these issues over these non existent activities. and suddenly he is kissing me like there is no tomorrow simply for the sake of doing so.
he confessed that when he was mulling over our conversation that he suddenly realized that he couldn't remember the last time when he had "really kissed his wife".
needless to say i was extatic that he had realized that he pays me plenty of attention and gives lots of comments in the emotional "i love you and i am glad you are my wife" department. but he hasn't seemed to realize that i've been warning him all this time now - we're talking since i got pregnant a year and half ago -if there is no action takin' to keep our love life from drying up completely we are in serious trouble.
he is kissing me like i really matter. not that it leads to anything else. but it's enough for me to know that despite what he has said about my weight gain and post pregnancy body he still finds me somewhat desireable(of course it took me telling him that it was making me crazy to know that he "didn't want me and there was nothing i can do about it" to get any sort of reaction out of him.)
we are proud owners of 2 copies of "the 5 love languages". basically it teaches you that every person has their own love language, a primary and secondary. and once you figure out which one your spouse speaks you can communate your love to them by speaking their language. my languages are (1) physical touch(this is so difficult for me considering our situation. and he knows that's my primary so why wouldn't he communicate to me?) and the second is acts of service.
his are 1) acts of service (which is easy seeing as how i am the wife and i do pretty much everyhing around here involved in taking care of his every need. and his 2nd would be word of affirmation. i have tried to get him to participate in making it a point to communicate in our love languages, rather than in just doing for eachother what we think makes us feel loved. but it is an adjustment. we have attendancy to do for the eachother what makes ourselves feel loved. and that can make the receiving person feel jipped. did you follow me??

but we've made some progress.

oh, and he came home from walmart the other day with a present for me too. he bought me that movies"27 dresses." it is super CUTE!!!! i loved it!! of course i love "how to loose a guy in 10 days" also, and this one seemed to follow the same plot some.....but it was still super sweet!

so you see, just b/c our spouses don't do what we wish they would do for us so that we feel wanted and cherished, they do show us that we are wanted and cherished in their own way.

i am going to mow the lawn now b/c teege is napping and i know that my husband will feel loved and like i see how hard he works when he comes home to find that i did something like mow the lawn for him.

see? acts of service. he will notice something like this and feel far more loved and appreciated than if the house was spotless by the time he got home. i'm always cleaning the inside. i thought i'd take on a chore of his for a change.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Do you want the pepper spray back that he had you loan me some years ago? I've never used it. Is it even good anymore? Kevin's had me carry it where I'm out walking where we live now, but I really don't think I need it.

jellybean said...

i don't even remember giving you any pepper spray. i'd keep it if i were you, just in case some dog out there decides to get too friendly.....
i wonder though, i'm sure they expire at some point....
thanks though.