what a mess

he still hasn't told me what to do.
he seems to feel better about keeping the house on the market this morning than he did last night.
how would we get out of the contract anyway? i guess it is our house and we don't have to sell it if we don't want. i'm just feeling bad for putting it on the market and then possibly taking it off a week later.
today does mark week 1.
i don't mind if he still moves us. i'm pretty neutral about it i guess. now that i'm used to the idea.noq i'm just disappointed.
the problem is if he moves us down to new braunfels and then he's gone for basically 2 to 2 1/2 yrs off and on, by the time he comes off deployment he'll have used his 2 yr minimum at that duty station. they can move him any time any where after that. the issue is not knowing.
oh why can't we see the future!!?
it doesn't matter where he leaves us -we're going to be there without him regardless.
and any one on the outside will of course say "stay where you are" and "call the whole thing off"
like they have been all along.(there's that "i told you so" looming up out of the darkness)

i wouldn't mind having new carpet still. we could afford it. it would drain all of our savings. but we could still get it put in, as a luxury for us.

if he did move us to new braunfels then at least we'd be together for the 2 months that he has before he leaves for OBC and then when he gets back from that we'd be able to be together for the 5 months before the deploys. otherwise i may as well say "hello loneliness" to the next 2-3 yrs of my life! b/c he'll be there and we'll be here on a regular basis due to him working out of town, going to trainings, being deployed, etc.

yes it is a mess and if he would just hurry up and tell me what he wants me to do we'd do something.
it makes me want to scream "doe something dodo!" no "do something DODO!"
i talked to him this morning and asked him what he wanted me to do if someone wanted to show the house. he said let them see it.
ok.
i will.
but you have to make a decision some time. we can't drag this out. we're waisting every ones time.
i had a dream that the realtor called and said someone offered us 15000 over the list price to
take the house as is.

maybe that will come true.

i doubt it.