OVERWHELMED

it is one of those days. yes. one of those.


i went to bed at 11 3o last night. that's kind of late for me, though not much later than it has been regularly for the last 7 weeks. i want to pinch my husbands head off sometimes for going off and leaving me. i NEVER sleep when he is gone. hardly ever! And what sleep i do get is not solid or deep. it's that half -awake- waiting- for- someone- to- break -in to -the -house kind of sleep.
oh how tired i am! even if i plan on going to sleep at a decent hr it does not happen. some of this has to do with the fact that when his day ends and he calls it's 10 pm here and 9 pm there and by the time we are all done talking and i have locked up everything and checked on little TJ for the last time and gotten the animals all settled and i'm finally crawling in to bed it is 11 or later. i will not get a good nights sleep until he comes. i am sure of it.
which is only another week by the way. he will be home 1 week from today. finally.
i almost feel like i can breath.

and then i remember what him coming home is going to do to us and i feel completely irritated and overwhelmed and like i will just pull my hair out.
we have to get the house ready to sell.
we have to have a garage sale in that process b/c we have WAY TO MUCH JUNK!
i have to pull stuff off the shelves and the walls and pack it all up and find a place for it so when the house goes on the market it looks l"ived in-but only barely so".
and it has to be cleaned. spick and span and spotless!
and KEPT that way.
which means we either have to park in the drive way so we can store stuff in our garage(which isn't a problem -until the first bad hail storm comes along. then what? our cars just get all bashed to hell?) or get a storage building. (which isn't a bad idea i don't guess. it's just ANOTHER thing to pay for)
and we have to find a place in new braunfels, but that's pointless until this house sells.which could take for -ever!
AND my dad pointed out that before we do anything with this place we need to see what kind of financing we qualify for b/c the bad housing market isn't just affecting sellers, it's taking it's toll on buyers too. i did not realize this. i don't want to end up homeless b/c this house sells and we can't get a 2nd home b/c the financing is crap.

TJ took a terribly short nap this morning and is showing no signs of going back to sleep any time soon. he's in his crib chatting away to himself and all of a sudden he will burst into a crying fit. just out of the blue. and then go back to singing away in there.
heaven help me i may just pull my hair out anyway!

OH! and to sum it all up:
get this!
this is a tradgedy!
my twilight book (you remeber edward and bella don't you?) fell apart!
it's the only one i have in paper back. i started rereading them again b/c book 4 is coming out in august. i've been laying out a lot this summer and took it outside with me earlier in the week where i imagine the sun was too hot and melted the glue or something and like the first 2 chapters fell out. i'm going to have to find a paper clip or a clothes pin so i don't loose any of the pages!

on the flip side:
my "turbojam" came this week finally.
the jump start program promises that you will loose up to 10 lbs and 10 inches in 10 days so long as you follow the meal plan and do a workout everyday. well i've been doind this program since tuesday and have only lost about an inch in my waist ,i didn't check anywhere else. BUT i have lost about 5 lbs since july 4th -just by drinking water and not eating any extra sugar. it was nice to see that my starting weight for the turbojam was less than i expected.
this program is a BLAST!! she like took a way to make exercist fun. i've always kind of enjoyed working out anyway, but wasn't motivated with many of my other workout dvds that i have.
one of the women who gave her "success story" on the infomercial did say "turbojam is like a party in your living room" and she was right.
i've had fun. it's a get loose dance around kickbox kind of workout! i love it. it was well worth the money!

so in order to be at my pre pregnancy weight i still need to loose 15 lbs. which is not bad.
it was 20. so this seems much more doable!