seriously!

i am exasperated. and a little bit in disbelief.



my crazy neighbors(the ones with all the animals i'm always complaining about having to watch) got a call the other day stating that neighbors grama is on hospice and they don't expect her to live much longer.



neighbor lady and i got together yesterday and made dinner and watched a movie.

during movie i say "just in case ya'll end up having to go out of town unexpectedly do you think you should put someone on alert to come scoop cat boxes for me?"

i know. i kind of offered right there to watch her pets for her -again. even though it's a ton of trouble. i felt bad in this case. when there's a possible passing of a family member on the line.



she acted like i was nuts at first and then realized what i meant. i'm pregnant. i can't scoop the cat boxes. especially for ones cats other than mine who i know are healthy and won't make new baby sick. and we only put a cat box out when we're going anywhere anymore or it's really cold and are going to be in the house. even then i have to put gloves on and hold my breath or wear a mask so i don't get toxoplasmosis, which i'm sure my cats don't have but haven't been tested for. so long as you scoop the litter daily the stuff doesn't have time to grow. she scoops her boxes weekly. i'm not messing with it.

"i guess i could ask the neighbors little girl. she has a cat and ought to know how to do all that"
(yeah, she's 8 maybe 9. i'd hope she'd been schooled in how to take care of her pets)

when talking to mom this morning she points out "you are kind of on your own right now? what happens if you need to come here for a break? or TJ's wants you to meet him somewhere b/c he has a few days off? you're tied down."

good point.
and i already had plans to go visit my parents this weekend - starting thursday - i got the one year pictures done for Little tj's birthday the last time we were visiting my mom. AND i had already planned on seeing twilight with my sister. granted i go and see my mom all the time, it's plans i've had made for a long,long time.

so this morning i call her to see if we're still on for going to target after lunch and mention to her that it's probably better for them to put several folks on stand by that she may need help with the animals b/c due to the holidays and TJ's schedule being so unpredictable i may not be available when the time comes for them to pick up and go.
"i don't know hunny. i haven't even thought about what we're going to do. i have to talk to the hubby"
i say "well, isn't better for you to get a back up plan formed now, rather than when you're trying to book plane tickets and get the kiddo's homework for the week you're gunna be gone and pack and all that? that way you know some things are already settled. with TJ being gone he may get 2 days off and want me to meet him in dallas or something and i'm not a reliable source."
(not with taking care of all of our crap all on my own as it is.)
and she retorts with a snotty "like i said the other day. death is inconvenient: especially at the holidays."

listen here you crazy selfish woman!! she is not my grama! you are not planning this out well. you can't just wait til she goes and then make all your decisions. you probably won't be able to book plane tickets on a whim to get up there when you need to, atleast not for cheap, you should really think about driving. and what did you do before i moved in next door anyway? you boarded your animals -all 6 of them! and now you don't want to pay to have it done b/c i'm here and should be able to do it at the drop of the hat? not now. not during the holidays with my husband coming and going at a moments notice. i need to be flexible for him.
your family is not my responsibility! i have to put my family first. and if that means that i am not available to you in a time of crisis then i'm sorry. but i will hardly see my husband over the next 5.5 months! and if he comes home, or wants me to meet him half way, or i've made plans to take my pregnant ragged out self to my mothers so that i can get a break from having to do EVERYTHING myself than i have to do it. i take care of us first and you need to be aware of that.(doing everything isn't so bad. i have to eat, so it's not a big deal to fix something for an extra person. giving him a bath and getting him to bed is easy too. it's the in between. when he's awake for 3 or 4 hrs between naps. when i need to clean house, or feel horribly pregnant and gross, or when he's fussing and it can't be remedied. there is no one to pass him off too when i need him to sit still for me for 5 minutes and he won't. the other night i was puking(due to new baby of course) and trying to keep up with him. he slammed his finger in a drawer and there was nothing i could do b/c i would have puked all over him. he was locked in the bathroom with me, but still getting in to things i couldn't prevent for hovering over the toilet.)

i don't know if she was hinting at me that i needed to suck it up and run on her schedule til their drama was over. or if she was just frustrated with the whole situation and didn't like what i was pointing out.
either way, now i realize that with TJ being gone, well, if he does get time off on a pass, and it's a short one, and he wants me to meet him half way between here and there, i can't be in a position where i have to tell him no. especially if i haven't seen him in a month or so.
so now she knows that i am not a reliable source and she'll have to deal with it when the time comes if she hasn't made a plan b.
the last time i wasn't a reliable source she acted the same way. and i was 8 months pregnant and they were going to be gone for 2 weeeks. i had to point out til i was blue in the face "what if i go in to labor while you're gone? your pets are locked in the house for 4 days without anyone to feed or water them or let them out to potty while i'm in the hospital. you've got to get someone else."
and look how that turned out,when he was gone, we were gone for a week too.

hopefully she'll get her brain working and start making mental plans. otherwise she's going to have problems.