havne't had one of these in a while either!

i havne't had one of THESE in a while - a year, 2 months and 14 days actually - i'm not sure i miss it.
read on ladies! read on....

This is an actual letter from an Austin woman sent to American companyProctor and Gamble regarding their feminine products. It's PC Magazine's 2007 editors' choicefor best webmail-award-winning letter.

Dear Mr. Thatcher,
I have been a loyal user of your 'Always' maxi pads for over 20 years and Iappreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard Core orDri-Weave absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or salsadancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach intight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionaryFlexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize howcrucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe andsecure I feel each month knowing t here's a little F-16 in my pants.
Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from the curse'? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my time of the month is startingright now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surgingthrough my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'llbe transformed into what my husband likes to call 'an inbred hillbilly withknife skills.'
Isn't the human body amazing?As Brand Manager in the Feminine-Hygiene Division, you've no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customer'smonthly visits from 'Aunt Flo'. Therefore, you must know about the bloating,puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, cryingjags, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize it's a tough time formost women. In fact, only last week, my friend Jennifer fought the violenturge to shove her boyfriend's testicles into a G eorge Foreman Grill justbecause he told her he thought Grey's Anatomy was written by drunken chimps.Crazy!
The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants... Which brings me to thereason for my letter. Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painfulI wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Alwaysmaxi-pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words:'Have a Happy Period.'
Are you f------ kidding me? What I mean is, does any part of your tinymiddle-manager brain really think happiness - actual smiling, laughinghappiness, is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentionedabove sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unlessyou're some kind of sick S&M freak, there will never be anything 'happy'<>about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlua andlock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the localWalgreen's armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life ina blaze of glory.
For the love of God, pull your head out, man! If you have to slap a moronicmessage on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something that'sactually pertinent, like 'Put down the Hammer' or 'Vehicular Manslaughter isWrong', or are you just picking on us?
Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective immediately,there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take mymaxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss yourFlex-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescendingbullshit.
And that's a promise I will keep.
Always. . .

Best,Wendi Aarons
Austin , TX