so much to say!

i made gingerbread cookies today.
that recepie we made EVER YEAR when i was growing up. i hated them -well, to a point. it was such a daunting task to get the dough made and chilled and rolled out and cut out and baked. and we made pan after pan after pan. and then we had to ice them all. ugh. it was an all day affair some times. come to find out -as i'm prepairing for this task that would take me 3 days since i had no sisters to help me this time - that when we made them when we were kids we made a double recepie. WHEW! i was so relieved. but i had already called my neighbor (the good one :))
and asked her if she wanted to split the dough with me. so i made a double recepie. and i will take half to her so she and her kids can have a cookie making day!

i couldn't find ANY christmas cookie cutters at walmart today!
i was pissed about this. of all of the places not to have christmas cookie cutters,you wouldn't think walmart would be the place. they had christmas tins, plastic christmas storing and serving containers,they even had christmas party favors.but no cookie cutters.
they had "cookie pans" that were basically shallow muffin pans in christmas shapes.i figured the gingerbread dough woulnd't work in b/c it's so sticky.and the pan was 8$ -and it only held 6 cookies at a time -if that.
i asked several different ppl about where i could fine some.
all's they could point me toward was the tub -yes TUB -of cookie cutters. the plastic ones. not the nice metal or bronze i was looking for. the "tub" had 100 cookie cutters in it. was it worth it? to get like 6 christmas cutters out of? the rest was mainly made up of abc's and numbers. it cost 9 bucks. no thanks. i'll cut me gingerbread dough out with a glass and wait for the good cookie cutters.
i finally stumbled across an empty isle display of christmas cookie cutters.for 4$.the nice bronze metal ones. all's they had left were the trains. they were out of the good ones. so i left without anything.
funny thing. one of the workers i asked for help, was standing on the isle right across from the display and she pointed me in another direction.guess she wasn't very observant -of course, neither was i. but she worked in that department. she should have known they were staring us in the back!
when i called to gripe about this to my mom she started digging thru her cookies cutter bag to see what she had that i could use, only to discover that over the years she had accumulated at least 3 of each kind. so i'm getting christmas cookie cutters of my very own from my mother's kitchen tomorrow! she's coming out and going to my dr's appt with me (new baby checkup) and then we're going to ikea b/c she want's to look at some stuff for my sister for christmas.


i need to download some chipmunk music for little TJ to listen to. he had a blast when his auntie played the movie for him on our last visit over. i recorded it off the tv last night and played it again today and he kept trying to pull up to the screen and point! i finally strapped him in his high chair in the living room so he could see better. he sure does like to dance!
and there was an advertisement for a chipmunk cd( not the soundtrack for the movie) and he really thought that was fun. he laughed and danced to that too!

TWILIGHT:
ok. it's my turn. i have been silently licking my wounds for the last week now after seeing the movie. dragging out the last few pages online of "midnight sun", playing scenes from the movie and the book over and over i my head.
i want to go see it again.
men like "edward" don't exist. but there is something about the idea of "edward" that just makes me swoon.
that was probably stephenie's idea in the first place when she started the book.
seeing the movie the first time - well, lets just say i was kind of a mess afterwards.
i know.
pathetic.
i had been visiting my parents and me and my sister went. i was supposed to return home that same day.
but after seeing that movie -that tragic and beautiful love story - i couldn't bring myself to tollerate the idea of going home. to my empty house.
TJ kind of forgets to be attentive when he's away. it's kind of out of sight out of mind with him.not that's he's all that romantic when he's home. he just kind of cuts off when he's gone and only call's b/c it's the right thing to do. of course it's better this time than it has been in the past. deployments are the real kicker. he pays little to no attention to home at all b/c it's "easier not to miss it".
and though i could find plenty of stuff to pick at about the movie -like how the scenes felt rushed to me, and the whole movie seemed to squish together before you could put together what was going on -i'd like to go again. i would have already gone if i had a good baby sitter here at my disposal. but i'd rather wait til i'm back at my parents and i can leave him for a couple of hrs with them and go.
now that i have a better handle on myself, maybe if i go see it again, i won't sleep,eat, and breath twilight.

whatelse?
oh, crazy nieghbor made it back from her trip alright.
i didn't call the other helper and "remind" her a 3rd time about the cat box. she called me at 5 on the dot that day and sent her daughter right over. shame though. she didn't even think about it until i mentioned it. and it still took her up to the day before neighbors return to take care of it.

TJ made it home from and back to OK alright. nothing major to report there. we had our yearly 3 thanksgivings. it was exhausting. we only got to spend friday undisturbed as a family.

thanksgiving day was a flop.
well, all the parts that were spent at places other than my house or my parents.
i hadn't given TJ's grama a 2nd thought at being a problem. though i knew she had treated TJ's mom very poorly when TJ was born. like the poor woman -who was only 18 at the time) had rock for a brian -or mud. come to find out grama really just doesn't like TJ's mom. also come to find out the only folks who can do no wrong in grama's eyes are TJ, and his dad.
i got yelled at first thing thanksgiving day b/c little TJ had on no shoes.
"WHERE ARE HIS SHOES!?"
"i don't put shoes on him yet."
"WELL HE NEEDS 'EM!"
"it's not cold out side grama, it's almost 80 degrees."
"BUT THE FLOOR IS COLD! WE DON'T HAVE CARPET!"
"it's easier for him to learn to walk in bare feet and he won't leave the shoes on anyway. "
she let it go after that.
it really was warm that day. i was even a bit stuffy. they say if your cold or hot then your child is too.
well we visited and ate and when it came time to leave big TJ was carrying little TJ out the door and everyone was smothering him like they always do(on that side of the family they just cuddle him to death! he hates it and he squirms and fusses and they just keep on with it!) and we walk past the dessert table and little TJ points at the chocolate cake. his daddy thought it would be fun to let him stick his finger in it and see what would happen.
no biggie. he had just shared a piece of pie with us. he was only going to let him have a taste.
but grama thought it was cute. and she did it again. and again.
and then she says " wrap him up a piece and take it for the road." real sweet. she obviously was addressing my husband and not me.
i say "oh he doesn't need it"
and right in my ear i hear "WELL HE WANTS IT AND HE SHOULD HAVE IT!"
TJ jumps in about some saying about "this is how the republicans and the democrats are like parents and grandparents. the grandparents are always trying to jump in and take over when the parents are trying to "parent their kids" or something like that(whatever that means)
i get all upset as grama goes storming around the kitchen looking for foil and go take the bag out to the car before i either cry and scream.
then i'm standing out on the porch talking to my other mother in law(the one who's married to TJ's dad now) and grama comes huffing out the door
"JAMIE!"
she inturrupts me like a kid. i was talking! hello!
"HERE'S THAT BABY'S CAKE!"
and she shoves a covered plate at me. i lean in to hug her goodbye and say "grama, he doesn't need all that sugar. he's already had pie."
"WELL IF YOU DON'T WANT HIM TO HAVE ALL OF IT THEN SHARE IT WITH HIM BUT HE SHOULD GET SOME."
i roll my eyes and go get in the car.
it probably wouldn't have bothered me had i not been pregnant. under any other circumstances i probably would have just taken the cake sweetly and thrown it out the window once we were on the road.
but instead i was totally pissed off at her!
instead i bristled up like a mamma cat.
it was the principal i guess.
i said he didn't need the cake. and she gives it to him anyway. it was still in my control b/c it was up to me WHEN and IF he got it. but i had said no. she should have backed off.
i'm not the kind of parent that is going to give her kids everything they want. and he's only a year old. he wouldn't have remembered a thing about the cake once we were out the door had we left without it.
TJ's mom atleast can be commical. she had said something to me when we were there saturday about "putting TJ's hat on" when we were going out to swing. it was very windy. i didn't know where his jacket had been stashed. and TJ's mom had bought little TJ a couple of winter hats. ones that were big enough to cover his ears -since his head is too big for toddler hats. it was a suggestion. i made mention of "it might be too windy once we get out there."
and she says "you could put on one of his new hats."
"good idea!" and i meant it.
and i hear her say to herself "listen to me being a bossy grama"
i turned right around and at the top of my inside voice i say "YOU HAVEN'T HEARD NOTHING UNTIL YOU SPENT THURSDAY OUT AT TJ'S DADDYS HOUSE! I WANTED TO KILL GRAMA!"
she just nodds her head in sympathy as i lay out my story without even trying to sound polite. "that's one of the reasons why i divorced TJ's dad.i could not stand that woman."
i've got news for those grandparents that think they can do whatever they want with my kids simply b/c they are old and have had kids before and think that the term "great grama" means they get to break all my rules:
when my childern are at your house and i am not there to give instruction and guidance you can feed them whatever and take them where ever and let them stay up as late as they want and watch as much tv as they want.
but as long as i am accompanying my family on a visit to your house, what i say stands.
period.
I am the mother.if you can't treat me with respect that that deserves than we won't come to visit til you can keep your opinions to yourself.
grandparents can make suggestions all they want. and most of the time they make sense.atleast my parents and TJ's mom ask before doing things -unless i'm not there. or they make a suggestion but don't complain and compare when i do something my way.
but he didn't need the damn cake! he'd already had plenty of pie. she should have minded her own business but she just had to give him that cake.
i threw the cake away.
the last time he had chocolat cake with icing it took me nearly 4 hrs to get him to bed that night.
when she wants to be the one dealing with that she can give him all the cake he wants.